These, once again, I find it quite amazing that we would all be here together, and I especially would be sitting up here talking to all of you. Mostly, I mean, I think about myself as an ordinary person, and a good deal of the time, in fact, I think about myself as less than ordinary. And, I mean, you know, I have thoughts and feelings, emotions. I get angry, I get depressed. I have sensations of, I hear things and see things. Doesn't it all sound pretty ordinary?

[01:03]

And the only way that I can sit up here and talk to you is because we are studying together, and because I don't have to worry about telling you something you haven't ever heard before, and I don't have to think about what I might say that would awaken you in some way. And so, mostly, I can just sit here and be with you, and I can be a voice in your head, in your chest, a voice in your stomach, a voice in your skin,

[02:13]

sitting right with you, and colors in your eyes. And so I can be with you, sitting and looking at me, listening to me. And you can be here, listening to yourself talk. If I thought it was something other than this, it would be very intimidating to sit up here and try to speak to somebody I didn't know at all. . I remember the first time I talked, actually talked with Suzuki Roshi,

[03:23]

I had been going to meditation for some time, and after meditation in those days, when we walked out of the meditation hall, each of us in turn would bow to Suzuki Roshi, and he would bow to each one of us. And it was never quite clear, you know, if he knew who you were, other than that you had just sat a period of meditation. And there wasn't any particular indication of you did good, or you didn't do so good that period, you know. . So actually I had been sitting for some time, and finally I did a week of meditation,

[04:26]

or five days, whatever it was, and found out how much my legs could hurt, and how much thinking I could do. I was trying to follow my breath. Because that's what you're supposed to do, right? Follow your breath, don't think. And so I went to have my interview with the teacher, Suzuki Roshi, and I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. And so he didn't say anything. I read a funny story, I mean, to me those things are funny, you know. I read this story recently about somebody who had this experience with Trungpa Rinpoche, and they sat for 40 minutes, and neither of them said anything. And the author of this story said, and I knew it was immediate, direct, mind-to-mind transmission.

[05:29]

Wow, nothing like that ever happened to me. We were just sitting not saying anything. I didn't realize it was direct, mind-to-mind transmission. Finally he said, how was your meditation? And I said, well, it's okay. I've been trying to follow my breath, but I've been thinking a lot. And he said, do you have some problem about thinking? And I thought, well, gee, do I? And all of a sudden, I mean, I didn't have a problem about thinking once he asked me. But I said, well, yes, you're not supposed to think in meditation.

[06:37]

You're just supposed to follow your breath. You're not supposed to be thinking. And I don't remember what he said after that. But I remember feeling very relieved that I could be, I could, it was all right actually to think. It was all right to be who I was. And the most important thing I thought about that was, do I have some, is there some problem about having problems? Do you have some problem about that? Later on, when we started Tassajara, and I was asked to be the cook.

[07:51]

And so I went to Suzuki Roshi and I asked him, as the cook, what should I do? And because, I mean, partly you have to understand the historical context. You know, when I arrived at Tassajara, they weren't cooking with any salt. Because, as you know, salt is not good for you. And on the other hand, at breakfast, so they were cooking the cereal with no salt. And then when they served it, well, some people like to have brown sugar on their cereal. So they were serving brown sugar. And some people didn't want sugar. So for those people, they were being, we were serving honey. And then some people wanted milk. So we're serving milk. And then some people wanted canned milk. So we're serving canned milk. And I think we may have been serving one other thing with the cereal, about five things.

[08:52]

And this means that, you know, we're being served in the meditation hall, which means we're passing all these condiments down the row. One morning Suzuki Roshi said, gave a talk, and he said, I don't understand how you can taste the true spirit of the grain when you put all those things on top of it. That was the last we served all those things. We were all so devoted. So I thought, you know, can I use, if I'm going to cook, can I use salt? Or what am I going to do? And he said, when you cook, just go ahead and cook. And you're the cook, so you should decide and cook the way you want,

[09:58]

the way you feel to cook. And he said, when you cut the carrots, cut the carrots. When you wash the rice, wash the rice. When you stir the soup, stir the soup. You know, I hadn't thought about this for, until a couple weeks ago. I hadn't thought about it for many years. But he gave me that same advice for the next two or three years. What shall I do? When you cut the carrots, cut the carrots. And I wanted to understand things. You know, I wanted to have the truth. I wanted to be enlightened. And then I thought I could, you know, I thought I could get enlightened and then go back to my life and do what I felt like. You know, it's very convenient, you know, if you can get enlightened that way

[11:01]

and then once you're enlightened, you know, you can go back and do what you want and then people say, hey, why are you doing that? And you can say, hey, don't bug me, I'm enlightened. I mean, you may not realize it, but, you know, actually I am. So, it would be very nice to have something like that, you know, and kind of in your arsenal. Kind of a quick comeback in any situation, you know, and kind of gives you a kind of good stamp of kind of approval, whatever you do, it's okay. And then you can tell other people, you know, you can really help other people and tell them where it's at. Straighten them out about this and that. I guess, but as you can see, now fortunately it hasn't worked out like that. Or I would probably be a little bit more of a pain in the neck than I am. Okay.

[12:03]

It was very simple advice. And very straightforward. It's quite different than, for example, Vimalakirti said to Manjushri, how does a bodhisattva enter the dharmagate of non-duality? And Manjushri said, if it matches my view, there are no words, no speech, no teaching, no knowing of everything. And it's apart from all questions and all answers. How thick-skinned the face is. This is a bodhisattva entering the dharmagate of non-duality.

[13:37]

So there's something kind of thick-skinned about just cutting the carrots. Stirring the soup. Washing the rice. Sweeping the wok. Vacuuming. Doing the dishes. It's kind of, just kind of simple, isn't it? And it seems like there's so many more important things to do. Oh, at least some of the time it seems that way. Some of the time it's such a relief to just cut the carrots.

[14:51]

Wash the rice. Stir the soup. Wash the dishes. When I worked at Green's, I didn't work in the kitchen much. I just, I worked on the floor. And I'd help out in the kitchen once in a while if somebody was sick. So one day I was working in the kitchen and there was a woman from the Culinary Institute of America, you know, the CIA, working at Green's. And so I was going, supposed to help her. And so she gave me various things to do. And so we cut up some leeks and some onions and different things. And after a couple of hours she said, you're pretty good at this. I kind of shrugged my shoulders. And then later on in the day she said, now I'd like you to make the vinaigrette.

[16:00]

And I said, I'm not going to make the vinaigrette. And she said, well, why not? I said, well, I'd have to decide. It's a matter of taste. And I don't want to get involved in taste. This is what a relief it is to just cut the carrots. So she said, go ahead. Just, it's okay. Just trust yourself. And just, you know, taste things and see. And you can do it. It's all right. So I made the vinaigrette. And she said, oh, this is pretty good. See? And about two weeks later she came up to me and she said, I'm so embarrassed. You never told me that you were the author of those cookbooks. And this is, and what I told you about making the vinaigrette is exactly right. You put in all your cookbooks to trust yourself when you're cooking. And you made me tell you that. Thank you.

[17:18]

I thought after many years of practice, you know, my life would change. It hasn't changed much. It's pretty amazing, you know. And so today I was reading, you know, some old Zen stories. And I came across this story. I must have read it before. But a student asked the Sixth Patriarch, what is the practice that has no degrees? You know, no step-by-step advancement. And the Sixth Patriarch said, what is it you understand? The disciple said, the sacred truth doesn't do a thing. How can there be any degrees? And the Sixth Patriarch said, I'm like this, you are like this. All the ancestors in our lineage have been like this. What do you think?

[18:55]

What do you think? Will the sacred truth, does the sacred truth do something? Will it make you feel better? Will it help you let go? Forgive? Have some calm or peace? Will it help you get rid of your thinking? Wave your sacred truth and all thoughts disappear. And what will you do? The Zen teacher Xuanzang was a disciple of Xu Feng.

[20:01]

Xu Feng, one time at his monastery, he told the students, he used to say, all the universe is one bright pearl. How do you understand that? And the student came up to him later and said, you say all the universe is one bright pearl, how am I to understand that? And Xu Feng said, I mean Xuanzang said, what need is there to understand? And the monk went away. The next day he said to the monk, all the universe is one bright pearl, how do you understand that? The monk said, what need is there to understand? And Xuanzang said, I thought so, you're living in the black mountain cave of demons. So what do you think, is the black mountain cave of demons any different than the one bright pearl?

[21:25]

And Dogen's commentary about this, he says, all the universe is one bright pearl. It means that frustration and anger, delusion, they're all just the one bright pearl masquerading. So as things arise, when things arise, what are they? What is it? What is a thought? What is its real nature? What is your hand or your face, your friend, your feeling, sensations, thoughts?

[22:27]

The one bright pearl or masquerade are exactly what you see. When you, if you practice cutting carrots when you cut the carrots, and washing the rice when you wash the rice, you'll experience things very closely. And you'll become, we become intimate with things, with phenomena, with our body, mind. Xuanzang also told his students, Shakyamuni Buddha and I studied together.

[23:46]

Later one of his monks said, with whom did you study? I thought that was a pretty good question. He said, we studied with the third son of Shui. He was the third son of Shui. He said, we studied with the third son of Shui on a fishing boat. When he grew up, he liked to go fishing. He liked to go fishing.

[24:58]

I don't know who you study with. I don't know if you study with Shakyamuni Buddha, or you study with yourself, or you study with a teacher, or you study with carrots, rice, soup. But it's an endless study. It's an all-inclusive study. And it's very tempting to want, instead of to study,

[26:02]

it's tempting to want to make things a certain way that pleases you, or pleases others who you care for. Don't you think so? I tell people, you know, this story about the Green's Cookbook. Some of you have probably heard it. We wrote it very carefully and very thoroughly, and two of us, Debra and I, worked on it together. And then we worked with an editor for a month, and then we sent it to New York. And we said things like, cook the onions until they're translucent. Reduce the soup by half, or reduce the sauce in half. And, you know, about every page, there was these little press supply labels that say, how long? And this goes on page after page, you know, how long.

[27:06]

So we're going to cook the onions until they're translucent, about four to six minutes. And finally it says, cook the vegetables until they're as tender as you like. And it says, how long? How do we know? I thought, lady, I mean, if you don't know, I mean, who's going to tell you? I think you need a standardized chew. So you can test things, whether or not they're tender. Then determine what kind of chew you like that pleases you. But so much of our life we try to do this, you know,

[28:10]

we try to make things come out the way they're supposed to. So, we do this with our body, you know, we try to make our body the way a body is supposed to be, and our mind the way we think a mind should be. And then a relationship, you know, if it's a marriage, then you try to make it into what a marriage is supposed to be. When I was married, you know, it was like that. It's been a long time, so maybe I can talk about it. You know, when people would say things like, well, this isn't the way a marriage is supposed to be. I mean, people actually say that sort of thing. And they say, well, if this is the way this marriage is going to be, then I don't want it. You know, as though that's not what a marriage is.

[29:10]

So we have to make it, you know, either that or you have to change the name of what it is. And it's the same thing in cooking. You know how upsetting it is if you go to a restaurant and then, you know, it says pizza or it says, you know, such and such kind of soup, and then, you know, there's nothing like that in there. You know, it says crab salad, and it's mostly a big hunk of lettuce and tomatoes and avocados, and there's a piece of crab there. And you go, that's a crab salad? And then you say, like, well, you need a different, all you need is a different name. And then you don't have the problem, you see. So that's quite different if you,

[30:20]

when you taste a carrot, you just taste the carrot. And when you taste lettuce, you just taste lettuce. And what does it taste like? What is the experience? What is it? And that's real different than you have already in your mind. What is the taste of carrot? And whether this carrot tastes like a carrot or not. You know, and whether it's what it should be. And I'm just talking about carrots because it's convenient, you know. But this is all through things in our life. So this is quite different, just to relate to what is,

[31:26]

instead of trying to make it be a certain way. My uncle said recently that when he was growing up, at one point his mother was in the hospital and his father was working all week and only home on weekends. So he was home alone with his brother who was a couple of years older. They were both in their early teens. Maybe a little younger even. He said he really appreciated the chickens that they had. This was in Palo Alto in the old days. He said he really appreciated the chickens because, you know, they also had rabbits.

[32:27]

But the rabbits, if you opened up the door and let them out, they'd go away and disappear and not come back. You know, kind of like mom and dad. But the chickens would go out and then they'd come back. So he appreciated the chickens very much. And one day he made dinner for the first time. So he went out in the yard and picked some tomatoes and carrots, all the things they had, got some eggs, called up my mom and said, Would you come to dinner? She was older and was working and living at the school where she worked. And he said, Would you come to dinner tonight? We'll have some great stuff. So then he cooked the dinner. And it was apparently pretty good. And he said, But there was a lot of leftovers.

[33:31]

He said, I just took a handful for each person. And he said, I thought they'd all eat the amount that I would eat. But they didn't. I thought, Well, isn't that how we do it? Isn't that how we learn? We don't know to start with. . So sometimes we do well, and sometimes we don't do so well about having things come out the way we would like if we had the choice. But when we relate to things, one thing after another, cutting the carrots, washing the rice, stirring the soup,

[34:38]

then there's an intimacy with our life and with others in our life that isn't possible otherwise. And there's actually then a lot to sort out. You know, a lot of cooking is sorting things out. It's terribly tiresome, don't you think, to have to sort things out? Who said what, when? What did you mean? All of those things. To have to sort out the lettuce that you can use, from the lettuces that are too big and the ones that are wilted and the ones that have holes in them. And to have to pick through all that stuff, you know, it's terribly tiresome. .

[35:45]

. . . So I would say the sacred truth doesn't do anything. The sacred truth won't help you make things the way you want, but it will bring you in touch with things, in touch with your life. . And it will probably, you know, usually then, also then it means that,

[36:53]

of course, you have much less control over things than you used to. Because you can't make things the way you want anymore, the way you thought you could, if you just knew a better way to do it. And so then you have this wonderful opportunity to have sensations you never chose to have and thoughts you didn't want to have and feelings, and life becomes much more, I don't know what to say. . .

[38:02]

So I invite you into this world which I've been describing or I, you know, I don't mean to say that you're not already there, but I welcome you in this world. And if you need something to help you find your way, you can think about, remind yourself to cut the carrots when you cut the carrots and wash the rice when you wash the rice, stir the soup when you stir the soup. Not trying to make things any particular way, but to be fully in the midst of your activity. . [...]

[39:49]

I mean, for me it's famous. You know, one day there was a cook, he was stirring the soup and Manjushri appeared in the steam above the soup. Manjushri who I mentioned earlier, describing how to enter the Dharmagate of non-duality where there's no question and no answer. Manjushri appeared there and the cook took his ladle and hit him. . He said, I'm busy. . . I don't have time for you. He's someone who, you see, took Manjushri's advice to heart.

[40:51]

Well, thank you very much.

[40:58]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ