I usually have this difficulty starting. I talk. Most of the time I just start in anyway. There, I've done it. I've started. I was trying to think of you know, a theme, and I haven't been able to think of the theme, so I will have to go ahead without the theme, and maybe the theme will emerge as I go along. There's a couple short poems by Wendell Berry that I found

[01:02]

kind of amusing, and I thought I'd share those with you. Wanda Berry writes poetry and has written a number of other books, a very interesting book about the unsettling of America, the difference between Forget the word now. It's the distinction between nurturing mind and the mind, the entrepreneurial mind, the mind that capitalizes on things, and how much our culture is going to be predominated by, it doesn't call it entrepreneurial, but I forget the word, the mind that capitalizes on things and how much that is predominated in this.

[02:04]

ruining that culture. And it distinguishes that with nurturing mind. Anyway, I think most of you know who he is. He lives on a farm in Kentucky and lives there most of the year and then some parts of the year. Travels around and does poetry and some things. So these are two short little poems, and I've told some of you about these poems. One is like this. I wish I was easy in my mind, but I ain't. If it wasn't for anger, lust, and pride, I'd be a saint. And the other one is rather similar. a man could be a god. A man could be a god if the ice wouldn't melt and he could stand the cold.

[03:13]

Anyway, so much for those. And then I read another line of poetry that said I use Use a ton of soap. But coal still won't turn white. I thought that was applicable to what we're doing sitting here scrubbing away. We have visions of whiteness. Emptiness or something or another. Dancing in our heads somewhere. And then there's another short little poem, Man's Greatness. Man, this is your greatness. Your meat is useless, your bones make lousy ornaments, and your skin can't be played on an instrument.

[04:27]

We know what we're good for. In fact, I wanted to say something about our NEOS. Now, meals are interesting in a way because meals in the Zendo, because it's more obviously a place where, more obvious than Zazan, which appears to be something other than ordinary life.

[06:00]

Meals are much more obviously a place where ordinary life and practice merge or interact with my enemy. And when we eat, is it just ordinary life, eating? Or is it practice? And at what point is it... what kind of eating is going on. So I just wanted to make a few suggestions and encourage us to careful in how we eat.

[07:17]

Now, first of all, in how we open our bowls and put the nut and handle the utensils. When I start to talk about this, I'm reminded of another short poem. It goes like this. Beans can't live without other beings. Life is the basis for life. Be kind to beings. Take care of them.

[08:20]

Think it over. And so there's not only the beings we think of that animals and food but also the beings the bean which is the bowls, the bean of the bowl and the utensils. End your own bean while you sit, while we sit and prepare to eat and eat And the being of the bowl and the chopsticks and food is not so different than our own being.

[09:29]

And as we say in the chant, innumerable labors brought us this food. Also the New World Laborers brought us the bowls and the utensils and brought us here to where we are. Brought us this zendo. Brought us the lanterns, the lamps and the kerosene. minimal beings brought us the road. And it comes to us of course from ourself and from all of us who are here.

[10:44]

We all share in bringing the food to us. It's not just being somewhere else. So it's pretty easy.

[11:55]

It's pretty easy to handle the bowls or chopsticks as though they're just bowls or chopsticks without appreciating or realizing there are also some being And it's a being that includes innumerable beings. And we are here. We are self. I am here because of these innumerable beings. And my life depends on their life.

[12:56]

So I, realizing this, I can be kind and take care. You know, we don't really care about noise. We say eat quietly, but the noise is not really the point. The noise of the chopsticks in the bowls is kind of like the noise of the birds. It's just a kind of song that we make while we're eating or getting ready to eat. And maybe if one of us drops our bowl on the floor or chopsticks, someone else will get enlightened. There's stories like that. So maybe we should be making more noise.

[14:03]

But I'm suggesting that I'm suggesting the opposite. And not so much in the point of view of noise, but to remind ourself or open ourself to this being that is our being and is the basis for the life of all of us. And so we take each thing with some fullness I don't care. We practice doing that. We practice not rushing along.

[15:12]

We're not either being caught up and rushing along or being distracted and absent-mindedly during the Oreoke or eating. And one thing that makes a difference when you eat, if you want, I'm reminded of that Keith Johnson book, Impro, which I'm going to be quite interested. If you start talking and putting little errs and ahs in the middle of the sentence, then everybody thinks you're kind of dense.

[16:24]

If you put them at the beginning of the sentence, then everybody thinks you're You're being clever, not clever, but you're considering carefully what you're going to say. And if you move your head around different ways, then... Anyway, mannerisms of the body can make difference. Anyway, what I'm suggesting is one of the things you can do while you're eating is to keep your head in place and not move your head. And this will change how you eat. In order to lose yourself in eating, you have to get your head down like this. Then you can get very involved in eating. If you keep your head up, you have to hold your bowl higher. Don't blow your head so much. It keeps you more in your...

[17:29]

In yourself, as it were. Instead of going out into... Any manner of speaking, going out into the... Some kind of unconscious activity. Or less conscious activity. I don't know. I hesitate to suggest this kind of thing but I mention it so if you're interested you can try it out see if it makes what kind of a difference it makes for you in feeling of your eating I don't know my experience is I eat more

[18:32]

mind-belief. Sometimes I think that the, this is sort of like what I said about sitting the other day, that the longer the period, the better your sitting must be because you have more conscious moments. And time has to do with conscious moments. so it seems longer when you have more conscious moments sometimes I think that in eating the amount of whether you're satisfied with the food or not has to do with the number of conscious moments and it doesn't really have to do with the amount of food that you consume but as you eat

[19:34]

the more conscious moments of eating there are, then you're satisfied with less food. It seems to be more nourishing. I remember when I was first here, it's kind of, I can't believe it anymore. Maybe it's just being younger, you know, and mostly, well, our appetite diminishes, but when I was first here, I would eat two full bowls of cereal. like for breakfast every day, and it didn't seem like that much. And now I eat, I don't know, a half a bowl or something, a third of a bowl. But it changed just overnight. From one day to the next. My eating changed, I don't know, after six months or a year or some point.

[20:41]

It changed and I just started eating less than a bowl. And I couldn't understand how I'd been eating those two bowls before. And that didn't have to do with any particular kind of conscious practice. It's just that happened anyway. Anyway, please try. if you'd like eating with your head up holding your bowl higher rather than digging in disappearing to your food So I thought I would talk also today, and it's somewhat related to what I've been talking about, about another section of Genjo Koan.

[22:10]

This is the section about going out in a boat. Yesterday was the going out in a boat, but this is the going out in a boat in the Genjo Koan. Going out on a boat is not really such a familiar analogy for me, but I guess it was familiar to Dogon since he went to China and came back on my boat. I know once or twice I've gone sailing, and it's such an unusual sensation, and it's sort of eerie in a way, the way the boat The boat moves without any motor. It's interesting how we've gotten so used to motors.

[23:12]

It just moves from the air. It feels so connected with everything. It's almost unnerving or eerie. compared to the accustomed locomotion. Anyway, this is what Dogin says about going out in a boat. When you ride in a boat and you sail out to the midst of the ocean where no land is in sight. And you view the four directions. The ocean looks circular and doesn't look any other way.

[24:18]

But the ocean is not round or square. Its features are infinite in variety. It is like a palace. It is like a jewel. It looks circular only as far as you can see at that time. All things are like this. Although the features of the dusty world are in the world beyond conditions. Although there are many features in the dusty world and the world beyond conditions,

[26:10]

remember how exactly it goes, but there are many features. The ocean looks circular, around or square, not only as Anyway, something like this. Although there are many features in the dusty world and the world beyond conditions, you see and understand only as far as the eye of practice can reach. You see and understand only as far as the eye of practice can reach. If you want to know the nature of myriad things, you must know that although...

[27:48]

Okay, if you want to know the nature of myriad things, you must know that although they appear round or square, the other features of oceans and mountains are infinite in variety. Although they appear round or square, The other features are infinite in variety. It is so not only around you but directly beneath your feet or in a drop of water. But does it make sense?

[29:14]

Although the ocean looks circular and doesn't look any other way, we ourselves at any particular time look a particular way. have particular thoughts. And it doesn't appear to be any different than that. That's as far as what we can see. But you should know that the other features are infinite in variety. So we can say what we want. I'm so stupid or I'm so great. As we were talking yesterday, we can make comparisons between ourselves and other people.

[30:30]

We can make attempts to ascertain the value of our experience, the merit of our experience. the usefulness of our experience, whether we're getting something out of our life or not, or whether we have or don't have. We can ascertain in various ways how experience reflects on me. What shows that I'm not doing well or not well or better or worse or accomplishing Buddha's way or not or I'm still a miserable person and we can take various experiences as a sign how we're doing and we can take that as a sign

[31:41]

that it's okay to be happy or we should be unhappy or we can be proud or we can be ashamed of what we've done. So if we take experience in that way, if we take the circular, the ocean-looking circular, or how we look as a sign, as the way it is. We can get involved in so many kinds of ideas. And we can try to take tons of soap and make coal white. Forgetting that the ocean I, my body and mind are not round or square, but has the ocean or I myself.

[32:58]

There are other features which are infinite in variety. But if we're involved in comparative thinking or thinking that establishes some value, we won't notice that there are other features. We won't realize there are other features that just at the present don't meet the I. We'll be very concerned just about the what meets the eye, and what that means, or what difference that makes, theoretically, or how that reflects on me. So Dogen suggests if you want to know the nature of things,

[34:13]

you should remember and remind yourself and you should know that although they look round or square, although I appear stupid or concentrated, the other features are infinite in variety. But this way, you know, it's not so easy to become 3D or selfish or proud there are plenty of other features it fitted in variety and just because one feature strikes the eye is no cause for determining I'm stupid or concentrated or anything else.

[35:18]

It doesn't really have anything to do with me. So, when we view things in this way, All kinds of practices in Buddhism. I don't know, I mean, I'm making a sort of fast generalization here, but as a kind of general idea, we have to, we try to use practice in this way. We have to, we try to be careful not to be trying to turn coal white. We're not trying to turn coal white. In fact, what we're trying to do is stop trying to turn coal white. Does that make sense? In other words, we view the ocean as being circular.

[36:31]

And then we think, oh, I have to do something about this. I don't want the ocean to be circular. It's not good for the ocean to be circular. I shouldn't be greedy. So then I tried to do something about it. And my doing something about it is now it appears that I'm angry about the fact that I'm greedy. I mean, I just did that. But how we actually stop being greedy is more not so much that we are take that as something real that we need to do something about. But we try to see more fully what is the nature of things.

[37:33]

And so, Dogen says, we see as far as the eye of practice can reach. And so we have these admonitions like don't compare, don't administer pros and cons, don't ascertain what merit is there, what good this is doing me.

[38:55]

But see, look deeper into what's going on, how things actually happen in your life. The ocean isn't round or circular, or round or square. another kind of practice to do then is if you find yourself making comparisons or determining I'm sure I'm stupid or boy I can't get anywhere or I'm doing really well you just add on to the end of

[41:06]

Each of those statements, as far as I can see at this time, to remind yourself that it's not fixed. And you're not fixed. And you're not. Nothing is stuck. Everything is revealed. There's nothing written. As far as I can see right now, this is how I am. This is how life is. This is how Zazen is. Whatever. But there's more to it. And I think we can appreciate all very much.

[42:33]

Anyway, I appreciate all very much sitting with all of you and the birds. sharing in this great being.

[43:19]

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