How are you doing today? Another enlightened moment, oh well. How good can it get? This is an important question, how would you know enlightenment when you saw it? And is this it or is it something different than this? So my suggestion would be, let's say this is it, and now you have it, keep it well. So, do I just keep talking and pretend that everything is okay?

[01:10]

The mic is here, it's too close to the voice box, okay, we'll get it straight, no wonder you have people put these things on you. I said I could do it myself, but apparently I can't. I can just talk now, oh okay, nothing like enlightenment, huh? I used to think enlightenment had some specific characteristics, and that it had something to do with the ephemeral characteristics or nature of one's consciousness. Do you understand? If you were a little tired, that couldn't be enlightenment, right? You'd have to be wide awake, you couldn't be a little bit tired. And if you're a little bit confused, probably not enlightenment.

[02:15]

So, in that case, one endeavors to sweep one's consciousness clear of any of the clutter. Clean things away and brighten things up, spiff up the interior until at last you can say, enlightenment just as I expected. Zen Master Dogen says, even if you think so, this is not the way it is, enlightenment just as I expected. So, I think it's in any way more useful, I found it more useful to say this must be enlightenment, and how is that? What about this is enlightenment? And for today I'm going to say it's your presence.

[03:22]

Your presence of mind, your presence of heart, your presence through your body and through your being, connecting with the world, with yourself and others. I'm here today because I have a new book out, well it's not exactly new, but the Complete Tessera Cookbook, which is kind of nice, it's the culmination of 44 years of Zen and cooking. And it's actually three of my old books, but some of them have been rewritten. One of them was Tessera Cooking that came out in 1973, and one of them was the Tessera Recipe book which came out about 1986, and one of them was a book called Tomato Blessings and Righteous Teachings that came out about 1997. And you know, largely the books had gone out of print and disappeared.

[04:26]

And then I was discovered by a movie director, oh well, a German movie director, Doris Doerr, and she was at Tessera with her daughter and she was coming to my cooking classes in the afternoon and after the second day she said, Ed, let's make a movie about Dogen's, how'd you like to make a movie about Dogen's Tenzo Kiyoken, Instructions to the Cook? And I said, sure. And then I told her, well I'm going to actually be in Austria next year doing this course on Dogen's Instructions to the Cook and cooking classes, and she said that she lived in Munich and it was less than a two hour drive, she could film me there.

[05:31]

So in less than a year we were filming, and less than a year and a half after that it was at the Berlin Film Festival. How to Cook, it's a movie called How to Cook Your Life, now Doris told me, you know, you're in this movie because you're you. You know, it's just the good news or the bad news. And she said, you're not Thich Nhat Hanh and you're not the Dalai Lama, you know, you don't come across as a very spiritual person. So people are going to be able to relate with you, and they're going to listen to you because they can relate to you. And then she used to say to me when we were filming there in Austria, she'd say, Ed, the camera loves you. She wasn't showing me anything that she had taken, you know, because it was all on a newly

[06:38]

released high definition television camera, or you know, whatever, you know. So any time she could have showed me how much the camera loved me, but I think she decided not to scare me, whatever. But she would say the camera loves you, and I thought, after the second or third time she told me this, I said, Doris, do you just say this to all the guys? It was reminding me of movies that I see where men are taking pictures of women saying, oh honey, the camera loves you, the camera loves you, you look so good, you know, blah, blah, blah. But Doris said the camera loves me, so. And eventually the movie came out, and it's, you know, to watch yourself on the screen, it's kind of devastating, but. I talked to Peter Coyote later, and Peter said he'd seen less than half of his movies. I said, but Peter, you were acting, that was me. Anyway, because of this movie, you know, I've been rediscovered now, I have a new life,

[07:47]

you know, and my book, which was Tomato Blessings, it had been out of print for years, it's my best book with 45 stories about Zen, and Suzuki Roshi, and Tassajara, and various things about cooking, and 100 recipes, it was out of print. And then, in Germany though, it's been in print all this time, and after the movie came out, they went from 570 copies here to selling over 5,500 copies. So I started talking to Shambhala, the publisher here, and they said, nobody's going to see your movie, forget it. I said, nobody saw it in Germany either. Eventually, anyway, Shambhala decided to do this complete Tassajara cookbook. But then they didn't even put on the cover, you know, as seen in the movie, like Julia Child, you know. I mean, it should say, you know, as seen in the movie, but oh well. So it's been interesting.

[08:53]

So I rewrote all the parts from Tassajara Cookbook in 1973, you know, now it's 2009, 35 years later. I rewrote it. I put it into, like, I used some verbs besides to be. Cauliflower is, cabbages are, you know. And I've used other words. Sparkle. Gleam, you know. Dance, sing. So anyway, so now this new book is out. So it's given me a chance to talk about Zen and cooking and so forth. Okay. So I'm going to tell you a number of things and you'll see if you, we'll see if you can, you'll either follow or not or get something out of it or not.

[09:55]

You know. Chew and swallow. See how it goes. So my favorite passage in Dogen's Instructions to the Cook is, Let things come and abide in your heart. Let your heart go out and abide in things. Let things come and abide in your heart. Let your heart go out and abide in things. Usually heart is translated mind, but in the Zen tradition and Asian tradition, it's, you know, could easily be translated heart. And this is very interesting, you know, and this is, I have found over the years, you know, extremely challenging. What this is about is connection, relationship, intimacy. Meeting someone who is not you.

[10:56]

What would it be like to meet something that's not you? Because a lot of our life, you know, we're pretty careful not to meet much of anything. You know, because to actually meet something that's not you, you don't know what will happen. It's scary. It's unpredictable. Will the something actually like you or not like you? Will it agree with you or disagree with you? Does it tend to blame you? Or criticize you? You know, what happens when you actually meet something? We sometimes, occasionally in our lives, you know, we say, we fall in love. And we say, you are a dream come true. And how long is that going to last? Because, so, you know, mostly we fall in love with, you know, our own projections.

[12:06]

Our own pictures. And then we look around the world for something that matches my picture. And we say, I like you. And then we see other things that don't match your picture and I don't like you. I like this, I don't like that. So it's going to be scary actually to let anything, you know, things come and abide in your heart. Let your heart return and abide in things. And we live in a culture, you know, that emphasizes this point. Basically in our culture, you know, our culture epitomizes that happiness is never having to relate to anything. You wouldn't want to actually relate to something, would you? And then, doesn't it all just come to you and provide it if you're savvy and skillful enough? You clap your fingers and it comes.

[13:09]

What do you have to do? And, you know, if you go to the grocery store, there's packages. And, don't I look good? Aren't these the colors you like? Isn't this the lettering you love? We've studied this. We know what you like. We know what you love. I'm looking good. How about you? Are you good enough? Do you have to purchase me? Take me home with you. Buy me. Buy me. Buy me. Why should I buy you? Because I'm quick. I'm easy. You won't have to relate with me at all. I'm quick. I'm easy. Put me in the oven or the microwave and I'll be there for you just the way you want me to. You won't have to look, see, smell, taste, touch, think, feel, sense, decide. You know, worry, anxiety. No, I'll be there for you just the way you want me to. Because it's really kind of too much trouble to actually relate to something, isn't it?

[14:14]

It's actually like an onion. Oh my gosh. A carrot. What will you do with it? This is our life, you know, and this is... And if you're not careful, you know, enlightenment will be just another way to not relate to anything. Because if you're enlightened, you know, you won't have to tell them what to do. They'll do what they should. Because they're all enlightened too and they'll just behave... Everybody will behave the way they should because you're enlightened. And they'll want to make you happy because of your spiritual advancement. And, you know, you can sit and not relate to anything in the Zen Do. Well, maybe you get a chance to follow your breath, notice a few things. But what about when you get off your cushion and you want, you know, you go to relate to something?

[15:20]

How does it work? So there's this whole world of, you know, whether it's food, it's, you know, other people connecting with other people. How will you communicate? How will you relate? How will you have intimacy? So this is a big challenge. And when I was about 19, you know, I started relating to food. Food. I think food is a nice place to start because, you know, it's not as scary as people. You know, to start to know something and to, you know, let something come into your senses. Let something, something comes home to your heart. This was Suzukuro's expression. Let things come home to your heart. Let your heart respond. And when I started cooking then, I would cut things open and it was so magnificent.

[16:30]

And it was like there was some, you know, vast, spacious presence in the room. Looking at a, you know, the inside of a purple cabbage with the white tree. Looking at the inside of a pepper with the little seeds, the top. Cutting carrots in circles, in ovals, in strips, different shapes. And I had a set of eating bowls, I had a set of bowls, two bowls, sets of bowls from the Goodwill. One was little wooden bowls and the other was glowing enamel, you know, bowls. Metal bowls that had candy apple red, emerald green, metallic purple silver. And I would study which bowl to put which vegetable in. This is also something about your heart.

[17:34]

Because most of us get involved with getting it right. I want to do it right. Because if I did it right and it came out the way it should, nobody could criticize me. Nobody could question me. And getting it right is different than what you love, what's in your heart. And can you share your heart with the food, with people, with your friends, you know, with your family, with your home, with your space? How do you share your love? How do you manifest it? So I often mention the story, you know, when I'm doing tastings in cooking classes, I say, let's taste this.

[18:40]

And often, most often, someone in the room will say, what should we be tasting? This is how hard it is for some of us to actually experience anything. Can you just have your experience or do you want to have the right experience? What about when you meditate? Can you have your experience or do you try to make sure that you're having the experience you've heard that you're supposed to be having? Shouldn't you be calm, peaceful, quiet still? Oh, is something going on in your mind? You're not getting it right, are you? You need to practice harder to subdue your consciousness. Is that right? How are you going to do this? How are you going to get it right? Or could you just taste, you know, what you put in your mouth? Could you sense what comes into your awareness?

[19:41]

Letting things, things are not just things, you know, things are thoughts, feelings, sensations, you know, emotions. Those are all things that could come into your heart, could come home to your heart. And you let things come and abide in your heart. You let your heart respond to things and go out and abide in things. But we think, no, the way to be happy is to get separate from the things and, you know, to finish everything, get it done. And then I could relax because I could relax and I could be okay because I wouldn't have to relate to anything. Then it's all fine and then I can, I don't have to like, I'm not on the spot. If I'm not relating to anything then everything's fine, isn't it? Now I get to relax and I can lay on the beach, not relate to anything. Or maybe you could sit in front of the television and not relate. It's not really relating to anything. So, this is our culture, you know, again. Okay?

[20:43]

Do you understand? You know, our culture is, we understand, you know, frankly, that you have no capacity to give your attention to anything. You're used to just keeping your attention in your own little place and not, you know, relating to anything. We're going to grab it. We are going to grab your attention because if we can grab your attention you will give us money to do that. Because that's the only way you're going to wake up, is to have your attention grabbed. And you're not capable, really, of giving it to something, are you? So, why don't you have one of these potato chips or one of these Pop-Tarts or some of these McDonald's and you know what, as soon as you put it in your mouth it's going to grab your attention. That is so good, isn't it? Oh, instant gratification, astounding flavors. Wow! And it's so exciting and then you want some more and you keep eating it. Because it grabs your attention and there's nothing there to the object but it has the capacity to grab your attention.

[21:52]

And the movies have the capacity to grab your attention because they keep changing, you know. It's not like there's a story that you could get absorbed in. It's like, grab you here, no, grab you there. Look at this, how about that? Are you about to walk out of the room? No, take a look at this. They're studying all of this. You know, they studied this, you know, Malcolm Gladwell writes about how they studied for Sesame Street and Blue or whatever it is. These kids things, how much do you have to, what do you have to do to grab kids attention? What gets their attention? And you know, if you actually give your attention to food, to things, they don't grab your attention like that, you know. Have you noticed? Have you noticed, I mean, is somebody coming up and grabbing you because you're too hot to handle? I don't think so. But somehow this is like, we're waiting, you know, for somehow, you know, the world to grab our attention.

[23:02]

And maybe if we practice, spiritual practice enough, you know, something will notice. Oh, I see you've been practicing. Thank you. Maybe once a year or two. So do you understand, if you actually give your awareness to something, this is a huge gift. And this is our amazing capacity in our life to give our attention to something, whether it's food, our own awareness, our sensations, our emotions, our thoughts. You can give your attention to something and then you feel so, you start to feel so good because you're giving your attention. And when you give your attention to something you're tasting, there's nothing there, at first. If it's a food, if it's an apple or a celery, you put it in your mouth and you start to, and you have to chew it for a while, you have to give your attention to it, and then pretty soon,

[24:14]

there's remarkable flavors and taste and, you know, the poetry of the world comes out and the mysteries and the beyond starts to speak to you and things start to, you know, everything comes through to you as you open up your capacity to sense and perceive and observe and receive things into your awareness. This is not complicated. But, you know, we're busy, we tend to be busy getting it right, doing what we should, and how are you going to receive anything? Because the more you're spending your consciousness telling things what to do and how to be, the less you'll be receiving them. You start to tell yourself what you should be tasting, what you should be feeling, what you should be thinking, you won't be able to notice what you are feeling, thinking, tasting. You can't do both at the same time. So this is why we say you're going to need to be quiet and listen and, you know, receive instead of giving out the directives.

[25:22]

But our culture is based on, you know, let's give out the directives, let's tell everybody what to do. And if you can do that with some skill and savvy, we'll pay you to be a director type of person. You can be in charge. So I started out... My talk's almost over, so... Oh well. Get the book. There's still about 40 of the stories from Tomato Blessings that are in the new Complete Tessera Cookbook, so, you know, there's a lot of stories about... There's 14 or 15 stories about Suzuki Roshi and, you know, about how hard it was for me to cook.

[26:27]

And again, as soon as you relate to anything, it's going to be a challenge. You actually give your awareness to something. It's like the apple. You know, Roka says, Round, apple, smooth, banana, melon, gooseberry, peach. How all this affluence speaks. Death and life in the mouth. This isn't just about, you know, noticing how sweet and wonderful everything is. You know, Dogen says, in the first sentence of the Ginja Gon, When you see all things as Buddhadharma, there is birth and death, practice, Buddhas and sentient beings, enlightenment and delusion. Every moment. It doesn't change. But you might want it to be, only notice the life, and only notice the Buddha, and only notice the enlightenment.

[27:29]

This is going to get challenging. What about noticing, you know, the sentient being, the delusion, the old age. You know your own, and others, pain and difficulty in letting it touch your heart, and not be trying to tell everything how to get over it. Do you understand? A couple of years ago, my computer was breaking down. My friend who helps me with my computer said, you might want to get a Mac. Why don't you go to the Mac store and check it out? See if you'd like to get a Mac. I don't get to the mall much. I got to this parking lot at the mall, and I got out of my car, and I'm like, Where am I? Big building, and a lot of people seem to know what they're doing, and exactly where to go.

[28:36]

I went to the sign that said, You are here. And I started remembering, you know, the Tibetan teacher said, You Americans, you want to get someplace special, don't you? But you know, you don't even know where you are. It might work a little bit better if you found out where you were, because then you could go from there. In order to get someplace, you could start where you are. So, like the sign at the mall, you are here. You are here. What's going on here? How did things happen here? What do I have to work with here? Rather than just trying to get someplace special. Anyway, I found my way to the Mac store, and already there was a lot of energy coming out of the store. There was a lot of fuchsia in the window, and there was, you know,

[29:39]

you could get a fuchsia nano iPod for, you know, great color, you know. And what do I know about fuchsia nano iPods? And I got in the store, and I kind of tried out a computer or two, and I was wondering around, everybody in that store, I don't know, from my point of view, they all seemed to know what they were doing there, and there was a lot of energy, and everybody was like, Hey, how about this, and how about that? There is a big high-definition television screen, because they're downloading movies over your internet, over your Mac, or into your Apple, and it's coming out on your screen, and then they have all this equipment, and then there's these people with a genius bar in the back, and people are talking about their computer, this and that, and they're, I don't know about you, but I'm just not terribly internet computer savvy, techie. Maybe it's being a different generation, I don't know.

[30:40]

So I was kind of wandering around the store, and what do I do now? A woman came up to me, and she said, Can I help you? Are you being helped? Can I help you? And I said, I don't know, I don't know. Maybe I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed, and kind of fragile, and I don't know what to do here. And she said, Have you tried meditating? Well, you know, I didn't want to admit that... I've been meditating for over 40 years, and I guess I wasn't, I guess I must not be that good a student if, you know, I'm still having these things happen to me. Oh gosh, and I haven't completely subdued my consciousness

[31:44]

into proverbial spirituality or something. You know, where you're just immune, you're exempt from any discomfort, because you know how to meditate. So I said, Well, I've meditated a little. How about you? She said, Oh yes, I just love to meditate. It's been really helpful. I feel so much less stressed. And you know, I was tempted to say, Well, maybe you haven't been meditating long enough. Oh boy. But anyway, I started to tell you the Roka poem.

[32:45]

How all this effluence speaks depth and life in the mouth. I sense, observe it in the child's transparent features while he tastes. This comes from far away. Any moment you give your awareness to something, you'll see it comes from far away. And then he says, Instead of words, discoveries are flowing out of the flesh of the fruit, astonished to be free. Dare to say what apple truly is. This sweetness that feels thick, dark, dense at first, then exquisitely lifted in your taste, goes clarified, awake, luminous, double meaning,

[33:49]

sunny, earthy, real, knowledge, pleasure, joy, immense. This is what happens when we give our awareness to something. Apple, at first, feels thick, dark, dense. And then, if you continue to give your attention to it, all this life and vitality and vastness comes out of it. Sunny, earthy, real. And this is true with your thoughts and your feelings, your sensations. So there's a difference here between, you know, I need to stop, so... I want to try to, in a few sentences, explain something about mindfulness. Mindfulness, you know, is the basic, most fundamental practice in Buddhism,

[34:52]

which is to see if you can be aware without judging good, bad, right, wrong. Without assessing. Is this good? Is this bad? Is this right? Is this wrong? How am I doing? At my little project of having good experiences and not bad ones. And if you're not careful, you see, if you're trying to have good experiences and not bad ones, then pretty soon you will be just not noticing the unpleasant, painful, bad ones. You will just focus on having good ones, the right ones. How will you become intimate with food? Are you all alive? So, you know, when I started cooking in the kitchen at Tassara, I asked Suzuki Roshi for some advice. He said, When you wash the rice, wash the rice. When you cut the carrots, cut the carrots.

[35:54]

When you stir the soup, stir the soup. He didn't say, when you work in the kitchen, be mindful. One of the problems with the word mindful is people take the word mindful and then they take it something different than working in the kitchen. So you would wash the rice and be mindful. What would that look like? Well, if you're mindful, you'd be quiet. You'd move slowly enough that you didn't get upset. You'd be careful enough that you had not very much energy. So you want to get your energy down so it doesn't get too excited. You'd want to get your energy down, your emotions down, and you'd want to go very slowly and carefully and quietly and be really still about it. Understand? Because you'll get a picture of how to do mindfulness.

[36:57]

So I think it's much better what Suzuki Roshi said, When you wash the rice, wash the rice. Don't go doing mindfulness, try to do mindfulness too. Wash the rice, wash the rice. Okay, so you know Gil Fonsdale, who became a Zen priest and then I think I was the first person he said, you know, at the front door here. He came in the front door and I was at the desk or something. Anyway, Gil later became a student of Vipassana, and is now mostly a Vipassana teacher, although also he has Dharma transmission from Mel. And one year he said, Ed, I'm going to the Vipassana retreat in Berry, you want to come? I said, sure, let's go. So you know, I went to a three month Vipassana course in Berry one year with Gil. We didn't talk much. Because it's all in silence.

[38:01]

But Gil said, you know, he also studied Buddhism in Asia, so he went to Japan and he said, everybody loves raking. So in Japan they say, when you rake, just rake. And then in Southeast Asia they say, when you rake, watch your mind. So in Japan, you know, when you're just raking, you just rake. They're raking away and sometimes clouds of dust. So, in Southeast Asia they said, often they're just standing there. So, I mentioned that to Mel one time and Mel said, they must still think their minds are up here. Rather than everything is mind.

[39:06]

You know, and do your, you know, when you rake, rake. And you can also be watching. Or, you know, you're studying, how do you, how does this happen? How do you do this? And not the right way to do it, but, you know, what is the way that works? And, you know, actually touches your heart, comes home to your heart. Well, time's up. Thank you very much for your presence today. I appreciate being here in this room. And, for me, I don't know how it is for you, but for me there's a kind of a sweetness in the air.

[40:08]

And, you know, the sweetness is not, you know, just sweet. I think there's a little bit of some other flavors in there, too. But I appreciate that there's, you know, there's a little bitter, maybe? A little sort of tart. A little kind of, you know, you know, but largely there's a precious sweetness that's the sweetness, you know, when we give our attention to something. So I would say that's the predominant flavor in the room. So I appreciate you sitting in the midst of that. I give blessings. Thank you very much.

[41:38]

I am impossible. I am not able to let them. The world and things are boundless. I am not able to lend to them. The world is strange and surpassable. I am not able to be permanent. Thank you. Thank you.

[42:53]

Thank you. Do I stop there and bow, too, again? Our way out. Where do we bow? Is this good? Is this good here? I need to go upstairs and change my robe. There's a Q&A, right? I'm going to go book signing thing, yeah. Do you want some tea? Yeah, I'd love some tea. Black tea. If that's available. I'll put some at the back on the table. Okay, thank you. Okay.

[44:39]

Thank you. This is not fair. Don't. This is not fair. This is not fair.

[46:36]

This is not fair. This is not fair. I'm leaving this on so that we can do the question and answer thing also. Thank you.

[48:33]

Thank you. Thank you. Good morning. Good morning. How are you doing? Vertical. Vertical. There's that.

[49:45]

Up here. Is that something that we can put in one of your pockets? This is a seckle pair. Do you know a seckle? Yeah. Anyway. Wow. I have some commis here, too. Look at this one. This one here is over the hill, it turns out. What a shame. Well, it's so nice to see you, Lou. Glad to see you. Still doing what you're doing. Still doing it. Recycling your life. Yeah, yeah. A little recycling. Are you in here? Yeah. Yep. Yep, we've all got our tails. It's amazing how we somehow find our way. I like what, um, um, I think it's attributed to Ru Jing, you know. He says, the great way has no gate, it begins in your own mind.

[50:50]

Yeah. The air has no fixed pathways, but somehow it finds its way to your nostrils and becomes your breath. Somehow we meet like tricksters or bandits of the Dharma. Ah, yes. All right. Now I'm going to head downstairs. Take these chairs by the kitchen. All right. Don't kill myself. I don't hear very well, you know. I don't hear very well. Your hearing is probably, you know, it's still pretty good at first, you know. Actually, I'm better than I've been in my life so far. Sweet. Yeah. Great. I don't have enough energy to worry about things, so I don't worry about... Hey, how good is that? You try hard not to get there. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You too.

[51:51]

Oh, God. Let's see here.

[52:08]

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