I've met many of you previously, but for those of you who I haven't met, I'm Ed Brown and Philip asked me to substitute this evening, so this is, I don't know, maybe the third time I've been here in Puerto Madero, previously at Turtle Island, and Philip and I are going to be teaching together at a day long at Spirit Rock in December. Put it on your calendar. We did it once before and we had a good time. We had a good time anyway. Tonight as usual, you know, I haven't organized my talk precisely and carefully, but I want

[01:09]

to talk about what in Vipassana is called insight and what is also sometimes translated as wisdom and various kinds of concepts of insider wisdom. I think I want to start with a story about a Zen teacher. One of his students one day asked him, what should I do when the great wave of the ten thousand things washes over me? I mean, is there a moment when that's not happening? Just to say, you know, what's a good approach? And the Zen teacher said, don't try to control them. So, you know, in a simple way, this is wisdom or insight, not to try to control things.

[02:19]

The Zen master Dogen commented about this story and he said, this isn't just a piece of good advice. This is reality. Things cannot be controlled. Everything is an expression or manifestation of the Buddhadharma. Some people, you know, have expressed the notion that, you know, trying to control things or the fact that we try to control things is also called the first noble truth. The fact that we try to control things and they can't be controlled, the first noble truth, the truth of, usually translated, the truth of suffering, but some people have suggested this is the truth of addiction to wanting to control, that we want things to be a certain

[03:24]

way and we don't want them another way. A couple of nights ago I heard a story which sort of shows the extreme of what happens when one tries to control something. My friend was telling me about how she got her dog many years ago, which she had for maybe 20 years. The dog is since deceased, but there's still a picture up of him in the bathroom. Most people don't have pictures of their dogs in the bathroom, but some people love their dogs. And so she was talking about how she first got this dog, which was a Skipperji, I think it's a Skipperji, Skipperki, okay, Skipperki. Little dog, very energetic. And when it was a puppy, it belonged to somebody else, a friend of theirs, and they realized at some point that he was mistreating the puppy and they took it away from him.

[04:26]

They said, you can't have it anymore because you're not treating it right. And that was how she came to have this puppy in the first place. And an example of how he was mistreating the puppy was he decided one day the puppy should have a bath. Puppy didn't want to have a bath. So the puppy jumped out of his hands. So he took hold of the puppy and said, you know, basically, I don't care whether you want to have a bath or not, you're going to have a bath. This is control. And it's also known sometimes as, you know, a power struggle. And then the dog shit all over him. So who needs a bath? Anyway, but I'm sure you can think of examples in your life where you wanted things a certain

[05:31]

way and it became a kind of a power struggle. This often happens with children and, you know, pets, objects out there that we think we control. And it also happens when, you know, in relationship to ourselves. I don't know about you, but sometimes I say to myself, I don't care whether you want to do this or not, but you're going to open the mail and pay the bills or whatever it is, you know, it's something. And it's not a very nice thing to do and not very healthy. Or, you know, when I say nice, you know, more technical term, it's not a wholesome thing to do. In Buddhism, there's wholesome and unwholesome, it's not a wholesome thing to do, it's unwholesome thing to do. So some people consider, you know, so there's the consideration that wisdom or insight is

[06:47]

wisdom or insight into the truth of suffering, which is wisdom or insight into the truth that we want to control things way more than we have the possibility of doing. It's one of those things in psychological terms that works just often enough to get us to believe that if we did it a little better, we'd be able to control things more. It's the intermittent reinforcement or something like that, I forget the technical term. Intermittent haphazard occasional reinforcement that just is enough to think that I could get better at this control business. So another expression of that kind of wisdom in those terms would be, you know, Suzuki Rishi said, if you want to control your sheep or cow, give it a large pasture. So this is in a way, of course, what we're trying to do in meditation.

[07:55]

Give our mind, our body a large pasture and rather than telling it what to do, just noting what's going on as it roams about in its large pasture. And interestingly, you know, this is a kind of control or it's a kind of, you know, wisdom. And the control is based on the sense that if you let go in this way and allow things to happen, then they don't go around shitting on you, like the little puppy. And the more you actually try to control things in a kind of tight-fisted way, the more likely it is that the object of your effort to control will misbehave and try to get back at you

[08:58]

in one way or another. We see this all the time in, oh, strange things like, you know, you invade a country and you think, you know, you're doing it for their own good and they don't seem to get that idea. And you want to control them and make them behave a certain way and they don't seem to behave that way. And so you crack down. We've seen it over the years in many places. Anyway, not very wise, but we're not here to talk about these kind of things, but just in the Buddhist concept of wisdom. So you understand the concept in meditation. In meditation, we give our mind and body a large pasture. We have a certain, I mean, we sit down and we sit still, we are quiet, and then we allow

[10:00]

for our being to manifest in various ways, and we are letting go of control. We let go of the control that's possible through movement, through speech, by, you know, going toward, by moving away, and we just sit here in the middle of everything. So we develop a kind of, you know, capacity to experience reality as it manifests, without, with less of the sense of, I want it to be this way, I don't want it to be that. And actually, of course, when you do that, oftentimes things do get quieter. If you allow your breath to be however long or short, deep or shallow it is, then after a while your breath tends to get deeper and longer.

[11:02]

And it's not because you're telling your breath, get deeper, be longer. I told you to be longer. What's your problem? You know, and if you start talking like that to your breath, it gets shorter and smaller and tighter, because it's not really happy being told how to behave. It's more likely to say, who knows better how to breathe, you or me? I'm the breath, you're the mind. Okay? So we've got this sense of wisdom, insight into the truth of suffering, letting go of control, allowing things to manifest. So Zen Master Dogen says, when you attain realization, you don't think, aha, realization,

[12:03]

just as I expected. Realization never takes place as you previously expected. Realization is not like your past conception of it. Realization invariably differs from your past conception. So any idea you might have prior to realization is not a help for realization. Any idea about how you want it to be is not going to be a help for being with the present moment that is arising for the first and only time, unlike any other moment. So the more you try to make this present moment according to your idea, the more the fuss and bother gets in there, and struggle, and tension, and stress, to make it a certain

[13:05]

way. Okay. So in a slightly expanded sense from that is the idea that wisdom or insight is, wisdom is the insight into the three conditioned marks, the three marks of conditioned existence. Do you know the three marks of conditioned existence? So that's this, the first is the suffering, which we've been talking about, the truth of suffering, the truth of impermanence, that everything changes, and the truth of no-self. As you meditate, you do not ever have the opportunity to make the mental note, ah, there's an I. You can note thinking. You can note anger, frustration, boredom, joy, ease, pleasant, unpleasant.

[14:08]

You can note states of concentration, but you never can note I. You can't be found. It's a linguistic construction. I was reading Gregory Basin recently, and he said, the self is a reified, reified aspect of a larger process that has been arbitrarily removed from the larger process, or something like this. You know, it gets very complicated to say what Buddhists try to say in a simple way, but nobody understands, but anyway. To have that kind of wisdom would mean you wouldn't be, for instance, as you meditate, trying to establish the state of mind that you like and maintain it and keep it and have it from now on, because it's the right one to have, and it's the one I want, and it's

[15:09]

the one I like, and I want it to go on and continue, be permanent. There's nothing that's going to be permanent. So as you sit and you're unable to establish some terrific mind state that you've been longing to establish, you might have the sense at some point like, oh, I realize this can't be done, and you have a stroke or a little insight or wisdom. It's not possible to establish any particular mind and have it continue from now on, you know, that's calm and buoyant and cheerful. We tried doing that at Zen Center for years. They might still be trying to do that there, I'm not sure. We called it looking good. You practice looking good, and then you deny that judgments, I don't do judgments.

[16:13]

Might have looked like it, but you must be mistaken. Last week I went, I really had such a good afternoon, I went up to the Burmese, it's a little Burmese center, maybe some of you have been there, just north of Sebastopol. They have a beautiful little hillside, I don't know how much land they have there in a big old house, it's a couple stories, and then they have a few little run-down outbuildings, and then the meditation hall is some aluminum poles with some awnings over it, and they were having a meditation retreat. The teacher there is named Dr. Tin Tin, T-H-Y-N-N and then T-H-Y-N-N, and I met her and we visited, we had lunch together, and at lunch they all talk. And then towards the end of lunch one of the students was introduced and he talked about

[17:23]

how he'd been in Spain for a year and he played a flamenco guitar and sang for everybody. This is so that you can watch your mind states, and why would you not be able to do that? Why would you need to be meditating to watch your mind states? In fact, maybe you could have these various things going on like meals and eating and watch your mind state. And the teacher Dr. Tin Tin told me when she studied in Burma with her teachers, they never did any sitting meditation or walking meditation, they only practiced watching mind states. So they practiced watching pleasant, unpleasant, liking, disliking, judgments. The day I was there they were working on noticing judgments and then when they went to the teacher, we had a group interview and I was there for the group interview.

[18:26]

So there was about 15 students and then each one reported a judgment that they'd gotten involved in that day. I was in the kitchen and there was a lot to do and people didn't seem to be working that hard and I was worried about it getting done, everything getting done. Or I was cleaning in the house and then I found out that the other bathroom wasn't being cleaned and I was wondering where that other person was and if they were working as hard as I was. So rather than this being a problem like I'm doing judgment, this is like now it's a success, you noticed your judgment. Okay, so wisdom notices things and in Vipassana you know it's noting, is actually to note something arising and appearing in your awareness is practicing wisdom, to practice noting. That's why it's called insight meditation.

[19:30]

You're aware of things as they come up and then the more aware you are, the less likely you are to become entangled in the whole process, pleasant, liking, grasping, unpleasant, disliking, aversion, and then what do I do about it to make it be the way I want it to be. How do I accumulate the things I want to have and get rid of the things I don't want to have in my awareness? Now if this brings us to another place which is if you've been following this at all and if I'm making any sense at all which I'm not sure I am because you know you haven't had a chance to talk and I'm talking and so far you're not walking out and I'm sort of guessing

[20:33]

that maybe you're getting something out of this. By the way Marsha Rosenberg you know who teaches nonviolent communication said I've often tried to get my kids to do, to make them do what I want and I've succeeded and every time I've regretted it or as he put it every time they've made me regret it. I made them do what I want and they made me regret it. By the way on that subject my neighbor introduced me to a little book called Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. It's a wonderful book about raising kids and since I'm quite you know since I need a little reparenting I've been studying this book you know just to work on raising myself a little

[21:34]

bit better. Would you say the name? Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, Becky Bailey and she has wonderful straightforward ways to relate to someone and come to clear communications and various things. She has wonderful little things like what you look for you'll get more of. So start looking for something positive. You know the example I think of as a parent comes into the room, what a mess. It's you know you kids you know can't you ever learn to clean up and rather than it looks like you kids have been having a great time why don't we clean up now. Anyway what you look for you get more of and so she's encouraging this is basic Buddhism

[22:39]

you know look for virtue rather than finding fault. Look for attribute some positive intent rather than attributing a negative intent to someone else's behavior to your behavior. Find a positive intent see virtue and one of the things about that book this is obviously an aside excuse me which is just so terrific is that she's able to acknowledge her failings without going into huge self recriminations or you know woe is me I'm so bad you know and she just acknowledges them when she wasn't able to do what she's teaching and it's not a big deal one way or another it's not like I'm never going to be able to do this

[23:43]

because I didn't that time and you know just very straightforward. So I want to talk to you before you know before I just ramble on endlessly but I want to talk to you a little bit about what's called the perfection of wisdom because we've talked about basic sensibility of wisdom or insight recognizing that things are always changing recognizing the suffering how we try to control things and recognizing that there's no self. Now assuming all of this you know then it would lead to the perfection of wisdom and perfection you know is the word the translation of paramita the perfection of wisdom is the sixth paramita the first is one that you hear a lot about because the first is dana dana paramita

[24:44]

the perfection of giving and what makes and then the second there's giving and then the practice of precepts or right conduct the third is patience or tolerance and the fourth is vigor or energy the fifth is concentration and the sixth is wisdom but what makes something a so-called perfection is that you do not you are not the behavior the person doing the behavior is not keeping track of I did that you know pat on the back I gave that to you you know is one is not accumulating that and keeping track in that way that I did that and then now I you know can add that to my you know goodness file and list or savings account and then when I do something that's less than generous you know I add that to my badness or debit

[25:48]

account you know and I'm always trying to figure out where I am where my balance stands so when it comes to the perfection of wisdom this is known the perfection of wisdom does not keep track in this way that I'm wise or I'm not wise and I keep track or I don't keep track it doesn't even it's not noticing or you know analyzing keeping track in this way about how much wisdom I have or don't have or how much compassion I have or don't have so what the perfection of wisdom sutra says is that a bodhisattva there's two kinds of bodhisattvas one who is called unskilled in means and the other bodhisattva is called skilled in means some places they have the bodhisattvas and the foolish on the foolish common people but in this case they have two kinds of bodhisattvas it seems kind

[26:56]

of generous on their part so an unskilled bodhisattva keeps track tracks you know which skandhas am I involved with what am I saying here in smelling tasting touching you know what what's pleasant what's unpleasant what are the perceptions what do I like dislike what are the judgments and keeps track of all these things and then keeps track of how whether or not one is keeping track and then keeps track of what it means I'm getting better I'm getting worse I'm developing insight I'm not developing insight I'm developing concentration I'm not developing concentration I'm so upset now when I didn't used to be I'm more calm now so the unskilled bodhisattva keeps track of how I'm doing based on the skandhas that are appearing and disappearing how wise does

[27:57]

that sound you see now you're going to get very entangled in you're only as good as the last thing that happens to have happened and how can you have you know any you know and then you're going to get involved in controlling all these things in order to improve your evaluation of yourself you know what's the experience you're having and keeping track of what that means about you and you know then you're going to then you'll get involved in manipulation and controlling your experience to make it be so that you have improvement based on you're keeping track of all this stuff am I is this making sense to you I sense on one hand like it's making sense and I'm also sensing like what

[29:01]

is he talking about all right so then the skilled bodhisattva the bodhisattva who is skilled doesn't keep track doesn't keep track of whether I keep track or I don't keep track doesn't keep track of all the skandhas and what's happening with them and what that means and what that's a sign of that's a sign that I'm this that's a sign that I'm that you know and making up a story about me bodhisattva doesn't make up those kind of stories the bodhisattva who is skilled in the perfection of wisdom doesn't keep track of all this doesn't keep track of what it means doesn't keep track of whether he keeps track or he doesn't keep track she the bodhisattva the perfection of wisdom of course is a she I just heard a joke the other night you know God ran out of material and he gave men a penis and

[30:08]

a brain and then but only enough blood that one could work or the other excuse me so the perfection of wisdom is a woman clearly and and there's a verse in the perfection of wisdom in 8,000 lines it says you know omnis the perfection of wisdom the lovely the holy she is a source of light so that all beings in the three worlds may you know and removes the gloom and darkness of delusion most excellent are her works she brings light so that all fear and distress may be forsaken you know that's what she does that's the perfection of wisdom but guys you know can have access to the perfection of wisdom to the way it works you know because the perfection of wisdom isn't fussy like that yeah now we have you know one you know little place to go with all of this which is sort of back

[31:13]

where we started about not controlling which is if you're not keeping track of you know this is happening it means that I'm this it means I'm not that I'm doing well I'm doing poorly I'm getting better I'm getting worse you're not keeping track of any of that we're getting to where you know you could say and you know that the nature of mind itself is wisdom that makes sense so because this is the nature of mind to that as things occur they occur and when they stop they stop so mind the nature of mind is you know the perfection of wisdom and all of everything happens

[32:19]

and we somehow you know make up we create reality about me and how I'm doing and how I compare to others and how others compare to me and we make up stories about all this and we settle down in the stories and believe them and then we wonder what to do about them and we're doing about them in this context is we're sitting and we're noticing things arising and disappearing and noting arising and disappearing seeing how quickly everything changes seeing how painful it is to grasp or avert seeing how painful it is to get caught in our story and this kind of you know and then this insight is considered to be you know what frees us frees

[33:38]

us from you know among other things what's sometimes called the inverted or upside down or perverted views you know to try to establish permanence where there's only impermanence to try to establish ease where there's only suffering to try to establish yourself where there's no that can be established and we can relax things happen partly what I well I think I'll stop here because otherwise I'll just keep talking the whole time

[34:39]

and I'd like to hear what if you have any interests or questions or thoughts that have occurred things that have occurred to you while I've been talking and so thank you and any comments or questions interests yes conditioned existence conditioned is all the things that happen due to conditions which is anything that appears or disappears is a thing that is conditioned because it's appearing due to the conditions and when the conditions are no longer there it disappears so we have in a technical sense you know everything is constantly changing in a slightly you know less technical sense you know things are changing some things seem to change more slowly like this

[35:47]

seems to change more slowly than the sound of my voice at this point and you know what's changing you know in Buddhism is you know the your experience is changing you know experience is changing and Buddhism doesn't posit reality apart from your experience Buddhism doesn't posit that there is a reality apart from your experience so you can say this is a bell and the bell will be here tomorrow and it'll be the same bell oh really and how will you know it's the same and well it's the same enough to call it the same but you know

[36:51]

as the old Greek philosopher said you can't step in the same river twice and you know you can't make love with the same person for the first time twice and you know so conditioned existence is everything that appears and disappears arises and ceases in Buddhism there's also considered to be the unconditioned now the unconditioned is that something that is that seems to be I'm not sure what Buddhism finally said about that because if the unconditioned is something that is then it's something that is subject to change and impermanence if it's something that is so I think the unconditioned is you know apart from or other than the realm of is and is not right so the unconditioned or nirvana

[37:59]

you know is both the same as samsara because if the unconditioned was different than the conditioned you would have a duality there and the unconditioned is apart from duality so you can't have it be on one side of the duality with the conditioned it must be imminent in the conditioned but on the other hand sometimes the unconditioned is called emptiness you know so on one hand we say emptiness is form form is emptiness and then a little while later in the Heart Sutra it says in emptiness so in emptiness there's no form feelings perceptions formations or consciousness because the unconditioned is not the same as the condition it's different than the conditioned it's unconditioned but it can't be different anyway so we one of the mistakes we make is attempting to establish in the conditioned

[39:10]

world attempting to make the conditioned world a certain way rather than looking for or settling in the unconditioned you know we literally try to quiet or still the mind rather than realizing stillness is you know there's a there's a stillness which is beyond stillness or noise that's the unconditioned you know we and then it's hard to talk about these things right but so then we literally try to quiet or still the mind and then pretty soon we can't think and pretty soon we don't know how to get the groceries and you know lots of various things happen in another problem because we're we take these things literally and try to achieve and attain them in the conditioned world and you know and it can't be done you know even the Dalai Lama gets a little angry sometimes

[40:20]

but you know he gets over it pretty quickly Paul Ekman who's you know studied emotions for however long it is 40 years now or something said the Dalai Lama was one of them you know was in a is one of or the most extraordinary person he's met in the sense that he has a remarkable expressively remarkably expressive feelings and they don't last so it's not that he doesn't have feelings it's not that he doesn't have anger it's not that he doesn't have sadness you know it's not that he's literally made his mind a certain way so that certain condition things arise another way of talking about the perfection of wisdom is it does not attempt to produce or stop any particular phenomena so the emotion can appear and the emotion and then there's enough awareness that emotion then disperses rather than becoming caught up in it something else you had your

[41:30]

hand up I'm sorry we there was little yeah this is Buddhism at times seems to get into a kind of you know what Trungpa Rinpoche called you know the spiritual materialism and it's very hard to have or you know a kind of pure practice and when does the practice shift from being from the place you're coming from

[42:34]

which involves some kind of gaining idea idea of gain I'm going to get more concentrated to practice for the sake of practice and I'm just practicing and I'm just noticing and I don't in fact even know whether I'm noticing or not noticing but this is what I do so that's yeah that's an important kind of question you know and then we have some ease or you know inward ease and about our life and settle into our practice into our being and not be always kind of where am I getting to anyway Suzuki Roshi at one point in one of his lectures said you know

[43:36]

there must have been people who carried big pots of honey on their heads you know and if you drop it and you just keep going you see that's the perfection of wisdom oh god I spilled it or you know maybe there's just cleaning it up without a whole story I'm such a clumsy idiot you know I'm so I'm so careless and there's just the next thing Dogen Zenji says when you're preparing vegetables and rice do it with your own hands same with your own eyes do not be careless about one thing and careful about something else so that's the same kind of spirit of bring your awareness into this moment the best you can but then don't keep track of you know the results of that give

[44:42]

yourself to this moment and then and you know the best you can which is something that comes out of you know the spirit of your practice or the spirit of your being don't be careless about one thing careful about something else and so you wait that's it so we do the next thing and we're not and then let go of keeping track of how I'm doing yes well I said about controlling and of course for those of us who've already had so much Buddha teaching we are not the perpetrators of it what do we do about our controlling mothers and our controlling wives? besides getting angry at them. this is a whole lecture I have to try to think of what I can say in a sentence or two you know

[45:56]

you know what's most basic in Buddhism is a kind of mindfulness so it's a kind of observation what Marshall Rosenberg calls you know observation rather than evaluation so you want to be able to say not you know to yourself or to them gee you're so controlling but say what somebody said or what somebody did in you know as simple language as you can because as soon as you say even that somebody's so controlling you've made an evaluation so what did they do what did they say and you want to be guessing that sometimes it's possible to guess at what must be going on for the person you know rather than you're so controlling it seems like you're feeling anxious about whether

[47:19]

we get to the airport on time or you know because you know because they're telling you to this or to that so there's some not only mindfulness of what they're doing and sometimes repeating that saying that to them just saying again what they said to you oh so you want me to da da da and what they just said and then there's also like what they must be feeling where that's coming from so you're worried about this happening or not you're concerned about that yes I share that concern with you I just keep studying on these things you know and it's the Buddha gives more general things you know be kind and you know don't disparage others while praising yourself and so some of those things are useful but I I read up on the you know the gentle art of verbal self-defense and the gentle art of

[48:22]

verbal self-defense I was just reading that recently somebody named Susan Elgin Hayden or something she wrote three actually three books the gentle art of verbal self-defense more on the gentle art of her so I'm reading up and sometimes it's useful to go into in her in her world it's sometimes useful to go into community computer mode but she calls computer mode so when somebody is so-called what's so-called controlling sometimes it's it's good it's good just to say yes it's it's good when people pay attention to what they're doing or whatever it is that they're telling you and that that you know where you don't take the bait don't take the bait that they mean you when they're trying to be controlling just agree with them but in computer mode yes it's

[49:25]

good that people pay attention to what they're doing and drive safely yes that's excellent rather than are you saying that I don't drive safely you know then you see no don't don't take the bait just agree so anyway I keep studying up on these things and it's an ongoing it's ongoing you know to how to relate to the moment and to others and to our own experience and what happens for us oh you know I'm thinking it's something like Susan Elgin Hayden but h-a-d-e-n but I could be wrong call me and I'll tell you I can I can get the book off my bed and read you the author's

[50:25]

title the author's name they're a few years old but I find them very enjoyable lots of fun somebody just told me also I should read you know a difficult conversations that was popular a couple three years ago and I've had that one around the house for a while and haven't gotten to it but I've been reading Gregory Bateson lately about you know schizophrenia that's fun do a little aside for what's what's not wisdom okay uh-huh yeah yeah very pleasant or unpleasant well notice see if you can notice you know the unpleasant as it's as the thoughts arise and see

[51:40]

if you can shift from the thought itself to pleasant unpleasant and if you can and if you can notice the unpleasant see if you can note unpleasant and then unpleasant leads to a version of some kind of verding so when you catch yourself doing the averting this is very important you know so the thought comes up and it's unpleasant and then what's the process by which you know you actually you know is it in your head or where is it where you're trying to get away from it or either you're trying to get away or go someplace else where the thought isn't or you're trying to push the thought away and see if you can notice yourself doing that starts with pleasant unpleasant unpleasant and then look for a verding and that's how you get entangled in it and that why they keep

[52:45]

coming back because if you're pushing it something it's going to keep it keeps pushing back it has you have to keep it there in order to push it you can't push on something that's not there so you have to make sure that it's still there for you to push on yeah well averting is the action of aversion so in you know in a different sense like if you have pain in your knee say that the there's two ways to avert from the pain in the knee one is to see if you can pull your awareness away from your knee this is true of any pain it doesn't have to be in your knee you see if you can take your awareness away from that and have the pain be outside of your awareness that's a kind of

[53:50]

averting there's also where you push against the pain and as though you're telling it go away I don't want you here you are not wanted go away so this is an example of the of a power struggle yeah so if you notice and so that averted at pushing something away or unpleasant and then disliking and then there's some mental exasperation or what is it you know exasperation or I want out of here you know what happens what's the way that you get you know yeah claustrophobia so yeah yeah so you keep noticing so it starts with um you know so note the unpleasant it's important to note to notice and

[54:52]

note unpleasant actually feel and notice the unpleasant and then you note or notice or and note the the averting I don't want that and and how your mind sort of rejects or pushes or you know tightens how what does it do and is there some way is there some way then and the more you notice what you're doing then you realize you could not do it so you you notice what you're doing and then you know insight gives you the insight into what you are doing gives you choice and option about whether to do it or not do it if you don't realize how you're doing it you can't stop doing it this is very basic you know Buddhist sensibility yes to look at it and to look at what

[56:02]

you do do when it happens even if it's you know unpleasant so you notice unpleasant you notice averting tightening you know exasperation whatever it is that's happening and as things arise and you notice them and then you there's a there's another words there's a point where there's the possibility of noticing how you get hooked by it or you know how you take the bait how you take the bait you know and and it's a problem for you it's just about eight o'clock I'd like to sit you know let's sit quietly anyway for a minute and then we'll chant as I like to do at the end ho it's a Japanese word for Dharma I'll hit the bell and we can chant ho and as a way of turning

[57:08]

over the merit and blessing of the evening to all beings so let's

[57:13]

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