I did want to say something more about the real way circulates everywhere. How could it depend on practice or enlightenment? So, what I want to remind you in this case is, I think I said something like this before, but you know a lot of times what we are looking for in our life is like, you know one way It has it's drawbacks though, because even then they can not do a good enough job at it, frankly.

[01:29]

Anyway, immunity is one possibility, you know, basically part of why we practice Buddhism is like, how do I get out of this mess? And that's the point of Buddhism, right, is how do you stop suffering? But usually, you see, we go about it in a little mixed up way. Because, and the confusion we have is like, there is a way where I could literally not have problems, not have pain, not have difficulties, rather than, I don't mind having problems, I don't mind having pains, I don't mind having difficulties, I'll take them on, I'll have them. The real way actually has problems and difficulties. This is what I want to remind you. So if you have problems and difficulties, there will be a tendency to think,

[02:34]

this must not be the real way, what does it mean? The real way circulates everywhere, I have problems and difficulties, this can't be the real way. Actually, the real way has problems and difficulties. And what makes it suffering or not is your willingness to have the life you have, and the difficulties you have, and take on those difficulties and have that be your path. And you don't care. You're not, in other words, aiming for a state of perfection or immunity, where you don't have these annoyances. Because, the more you're aiming for a state of perfection or immunity, or, you know, my case for instance, it looks like to me, for a long time now, all my life, I want to show people that I'm not a baby anymore, that I'm a grown-up, competent, capable guy.

[03:37]

Because you know how it is for us guys, we're supposed to be capable, competent, grown-up, you know, not wimpy, not a baby. Now if you're seriously, if you have this seriously as an agenda, do you know how frustrating it is to have even a hint of, even somebody can say, can I help you with that? Help? You think I need help? And you have just a little emotional problem like, oh gosh, I guess I'm still a baby, oh darn it, I haven't gotten to the perfection yet. So then everything is that much more disturbing because, not because it's a problem in the first place, but because I want to be a certain paragon of grown-up male. And because I aim for that, this is why in Buddhism you say, don't try to become a Buddha.

[04:40]

That's like saying, don't try to be someone who has no problems, no difficulties, no delusions, no ignorance, don't try to be that kind of person, because the more you set out to be that kind of person, the more frustrating it is, any little indications that you're not that kind of person. So why would you set out to be that? Just take what's happening in your life, it is the real way already. So when you start to think that there's some other real way, now you've got, as we say in the second paragraph, if you miss the mark by a strand of hair, you're dismal. So missing the mark is, no, I want some greater perfection. I don't want to have any ignorance. I don't want to have any problems. This is to miss the mark. Once you set up that kind of standard. And then the Bhukhan Siddhagini Dharma reminds us that Bodhidharma, the Buddha,

[05:47]

they had to practice. You don't just get this understanding right off from birth, and you don't have to spend some time sorting it out. You actually have to devote several years to trying to be perfect, trying to be a Buddha. Because you've really devoted yourself to it, you've been a really sincere, good, sense student, and you've tried to become a Buddha, and you've tried to be perfect, and you've finally realized, my God, it's not possible. I've dug myself out trying to be perfect, and I can't do it, it can't be done, now I know, and I may as well just be me, because I'm not going to be able to be Buddha. What a concept, huh? Anyway. So, then we have, you know, famous expression here,

[06:53]

hence, you should stop searching for phrases and chasing after words. Take a backward step and turn the light inward. Your body-mind of itself will drop off, and your original face will appear. If you want to attain just this, immediately practice just this. Just this is, you know, Zen expression, which means, you know, exactly this moment. Just this. Whatever just this is, it's nothing in particular, is it? Each moment, just this, is very unique, you know, unheard of, never before, never again. Just this. If you want to attain just this, practice just this. You don't then have a thought like,

[07:55]

how do I make it better? How do I improve it? How do I fix it? How do I, you know, attain perfection? How do I stop having this problem? How do I stop having pain? You know, you're not imagining any other time or any other place or any other state of being, just this. And you can practice, you know, you can practice just this. So this is, you know, Zen expression. Sometimes this is translated, if you want to attain suchness, practice suchness at that level. And backward step, you know, take a backward step. See, as I was mentioning a few minutes ago, all the time we think, I will go forward. I will get somewhere. Here it says, take a backward step and turn the light on. Your body-mind in itself will drop off

[08:57]

and your original face will appear. Your original face is not, you know, anything in particular. Again, your original face is no face. No particular, you know, person. And the body-mind of itself that drops away is the body-mind that you've been used to parting around. And making sure that it continues. Do you know how you go on being you? And it's necessary, to go on being you, it's necessary you have to keep creating you. And one of the ways that we keep creating ourselves is we have to keep having the same problems. If I didn't have these problems, how would I recognize myself? So you have to keep making sure that you have the same problems.

[10:00]

This is how hard it is to practice Zen. Step back, turn the light inward, and then, you know, you will be letting go of the body-mind you're used to parting around. So now I want to, we're going to talk a little bit about this. I'm going to tell you a story and then we're going to try a Zen game. One of my new-found Zen games. So, first of all, the story. I may have told you this story, you know, a couple of years ago when I was here, but some of you probably weren't here. And then those of you who were here, you probably, you know, this will remind you if you're familiar with the story. This is the story that Alice Miller tells in one of her books. I think this is, you know, Alice Miller's book, Banished Knowledge. Banished Knowledge is the knowledge of what happened when you were a child,

[11:04]

you know, when you were very small. It's knowledge that you have, but you've banished it. And it's also, she says, you've banished the knowledge partly to protect the innocence of your parents. You know, so that everything that happened to you as a little person was your fault. They didn't do that stuff to you, you deserved it. If they treated you badly, you must have deserved to be treated badly. And then you created the person who deserved to be treated that way. Anyway, aside from the whole thing, here's the story. The whole concept of Banished Knowledge. The story is, the story that a woman told Alice Miller, and she repeats it in her book. And the story is that there was a woman who had a three-year-old son. She wanted to go away for the weekend, so she was thinking she would leave her son with the child's grandmother, her mother. She was a little concerned about it because she knew her mother had been really big on manners, on good manners.

[12:06]

How to behave the right way. She finally decided, well, alright, my mother really loves her grandson, I'll take a chance, you know, leave him for the weekend. So after the weekend, she went to pick up her son, three years old. And the son said, they got out to the car and the son said, I don't want to go to grandmother's anymore, she hurt me. So, little by little, talking to the son and talking to the grandmother, the woman pieced together. Story, what happened? First night, they had dinner. And the grandmother had made, this is in Europe. The grandmother had made for dessert, a cottage cheese souffle. I've never had it, but this was Daniel, the son's name in the story is Daniel. It was Daniel's favorite dessert. So after they ate dessert, he reached out to help himself for seconds, which was something he was used to doing at home.

[13:12]

And very proud of his ability to do that. Three years old, to reach out and serve himself. And the grandmother put her hand on his and said, you have to ask the others if it's okay. And Daniel looked around the room and said, where are they? And then he had a fit. It was very upsetting to him that he had been criticized for doing something that he was proud of his capability. And that he didn't understand, where are the others? And finally he calmed down. She tried to say, oh it's okay, go ahead and ask them. He tried to calm it down, he was inconsolable. Then finally he calmed down and she said, you hurt me, why did you do that? And she said, you have to learn good manners. And he said, why?

[14:14]

And she said, so the others will like you. And he said, at my mommy's house, I don't have to, he said, I don't have to. At my mommy's house, when I'm hungry, I eat. Now if you're not familiar with it, that's a famous expression. My teacher can stand on one side of the river bank and hold up the brush with ink on it. And I hold the paper on the other side and the calligraphy appears across the river. Can your teacher do any kind of miracle like that? And the other person says yes. He's a Zen teacher actually and he says, now can you do any miracles like that? And the Zen teacher says, when I'm tired I sleep and when I'm hungry I eat. This is his Zen miracle. So here's a three-year-old boy who seems to have a lot of understanding and there's a grandmother.

[15:20]

I told this story at a sitting one time in Green Gulch. When I heard this story, I right away related with the three-year-old. That has something to do, who did you relate with? Well, I was surprised but it turned out that most of the people at the sitting, at least most of those who spoke up said, that grandmother was right. You have to teach kids manners. I was surprised. There were all these people who were just adamant about it. You have to teach kids manners. You have to teach them how to behave. You have to correct them. You have to fix them. You know, of course that grandmother did that. And here I am relating right away with the three-year-old. And then one woman said, oh, when you told that story, I just right away related with the three-year-old and tears came to my eyes. So here's this whole range of extra reactions.

[16:25]

And you hear the story and who do you identify with? Well, usually you identify with the person in the story as the way you identify yourself. So, as I've been explaining to you, even in the couple of days here we've been together, I identify myself more as a three-year-old than I do as, you know, the person who is going to teach you good manners or good forms. I identify more as a three-year-old. You know, who's always being bossed around and told what to do and various things and hasn't quite grown up. But, you know, in fact, all of us have a three-year-old and a grandmother. And if you've got one, you've got the other. And all of us have them both. You know, and if it's not a three-year-old and a grandmother, it's a two-year-old and a grandfather or whatever. You know, we all have any number of personalities. And you don't get one without the other.

[17:27]

And if you're sitting here reacting to somebody that you think is being the grandmother, you know, well, who did you think you were? Oh, well, I'm the three-year-old. But actually, well, meet your own grandmother. Meet your own grandfather. You know, you're also that person. Although you tend to identify with the younger person. And if you're the grandmother, you're also the child. You know, that's just the way it is, right? Now, in Zen we also say, you know, so why would you, you know, so it's a problem for us in our life when we actually side with one against the other. So if you say, actually, I think it's better to be a three-year-old. I wouldn't want to be one of those grandmothers like that. And then you try to, like, eliminate from your personality any vestige of the grandmother. But actually you can't, because you're a three-year-old

[18:31]

and there's going to be a grandmother there. But you're going like, no, I'm going to be, and then actually you'll start being like the grandmother, trying to defend the three-year-old. And you'll get very grandmotherly about it. And if you're the grandmother, you can get really childish and petty and throw tantrums about the way people are behaving and trying to teach them manners. So actually, you see, whichever, as soon as you identify with one against the other, you're still actually maintaining the dynamic and you're caught up in the delusion that you are one or the other and that either of those is any more real or true than the other one. But you just make it up, that actually I side with one and I'm against the other and I'll get this straightened out and I'm going to, you know, this or that. Because I think one is better than the other. So this is what Zen is called, you know,

[19:32]

the disease of the mind, to set up one against the other. Now, we're also, you know, what Zen is trying to point out is we're also somebody who's not the three-year-old, not the grandmother, is not anyone in particular. We're also a big mind or Buddha. You know, you're an ordinary person and you're Buddha. So also, each of us is, you know, the mind that is everywhere, big mind. And as soon as you say, I'm this or I'm that, actually you've narrowed your big mind down to being a small little mind and having particular characteristics and that's only tentatively speaking on a particular occasion you. But as soon as you say, I'm the three-year-old or I'm the grandmother or yes, this one's right or that one's right or I'm this or I'm not that, now you're getting caught up in objective self, you as an object rather than you as a subject. You as a subject has no shape, no form, no beginning, no end,

[20:34]

is not defiled, isn't pure, doesn't increase, doesn't decrease. Do you know the Heart Sutra? No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, no color. You're not any particular thing as a subject, as the subject, as big mind. You're not anything, you have nothing. This is also called your original face. Which doesn't mean you're not anything, but it means that however you appear is not it. Now and forevermore, some way that you're going to be and some way you're going to keep. Does this make sense? So don't worry about, I mean, worry all you want about the grandmas and three-year-olds, but anyway, that's not who you are finally. But also remember, if there's one there, the other is right there too. And so another way to think about that is,

[21:36]

for any one of us, it would be especially useful for big mind to suggest to the little mind that are at odds with one another, why don't you see if you could be friends? And find out how to get along with one another. And why don't you see, as a three-year-old, if grandma has something actually to offer that would be helpful to you. And as a grandmother, doesn't a three-year-old have something to offer? You know, the three-year-old has a lot of vitality and exuberance that most grandmothers don't. And the grandmother has a lot of wisdom that the three-year-old doesn't. You know, so actually, the question is, you know, how to have, as you've stated over time, you're finding out how to have these become friends. Grandmother and three-year-old is just one metaphor, you know, often it's, you know, ox and right. Or various things. Or what the problem is here.

[22:40]

And I want to say one other thing, too, about all of this, which is, you know, as far as the real way, and, you know, actually, everything in our life that happens is not a problem. You know, the problem is that we're doing things that we don't realize we're doing. So we were doing a little exercise out there where you can resist or reject. And energetically, you know, after a while, and people are good at resisting and rejecting, and they really do it, you will, you know, the best way to feel it is if you, well, anyway, you can feel like pushed off and somebody energetically resists or rejects. That's a useful skill. Any one of us should be able to do that. We're perfectly capable of doing it. And there's nothing wrong with doing it. You want to sometimes say, go away. The problem is if you're doing it all the time and you don't even know it,

[23:43]

now that's a problem. And then you go like, well, why do they always leave me? This is confusing, you know. Why don't people hang around? And you just spend all your time pushing them away. But you didn't realize you're pushing them away. You see, now it's a problem because, and it's not the doing of it, it's the unconscious doing of it that makes it a problem, you see. Because any one of these things, we should be able to resist, we should be able to reject, we should be able to withdraw. We're capable of doing all these things and the problem is doing them and then not realizing I'm doing them and that has something to do with the way things happen in my life. Does that make sense? Just like, you know, siding with the grandmother and not even realizing I'm siding against the three-year-old. We're siding with the three-year-old, meaning I'm rejecting this other part of myself and then assuming that that's perfectly fine. And of course that's what I would do.

[24:47]

That's what a good Buddhist would do. You know. Whether you've sided with one or the other. You know, and you'll hear what you want to hear and what supports your view. And you won't hear something else. So you can go on doing what you've always done. Anyway, we're trying, you know, again, in a simple way, Buddhism, we're trying to notice what it is we do to what happens at any particular moment. It's not about making sure that one thing happens and not something else. So dive into the forums, dive into the practice, see what happens. Just this. Whatever it is. And you'll find out a lot. Are you ready for your game? So this may take us sort of like through the next period of satsang, which is only going to be 20 minutes anyway, so instead of evening satsang tonight, I have the game for you. Are you ready? This is going to involve also, I hope you don't mind, but you will be asked to stand up.

[25:48]

No, you can't. You can't. All right. So, to start with, this has several different parts here, okay? So the first thing we're going to do is we're going to see if you can, if you, and we're going to assume, you know, and by the way, in this sense, I'm calling this a Zen game, right? But what this means is you can have fun. You don't need to try real hard. You can pretend. This doesn't have to be real. You can play at what you're doing because, you know, it's not about true or your original face or anything. This is like a game, okay? So you get to play and have fun

[26:48]

and enjoy yourself. Not try too hard. It's not about winning or losing. It's not about right or wrong. It's not about getting it or not getting it. You know, you just have the experience you have and don't worry about it. You know, whether it's the experience you should be having because this is just a game, okay? You don't, you know, if you're sitting in Zazen, you might worry like, is this an enlightenment experience? Or how deep is this now? You know, various things, you know. You might, you know, get concerned about. So now we're stepping out of that mode for a little bit and we're going to play around, okay? So the first thing we're going to play at is to see, you know, while you're sitting here, if you think about, like, when you first wake up in the morning and how do you, how is it that you, you know, when you first wake up, you don't always feel exactly like yourself, right? So what is it that you do in the morning and then you feel like, oh, now I feel like me.

[27:48]

You take a shower, you know, it used to be, I mean, you know, some of us used to smoke cigarettes, you know, you have a cup of coffee. Maybe it's the first cup of coffee and after about three, you know, sips of coffee, you start to feel. So it's easier probably if you close your eyes and you just start to organize your body. How does it feel like in the morning? Like, what starts to give you the feeling of being you? Or, you know, brushing your teeth, washing your face, going to the toilet, a shower. What are the things that you do and pretty soon you start to feel like, oh, I'm myself now. And you can kind of check, you know, like how does, you know, does your head start to, is your head like you, you know, does it feel like you now and your back and your shoulders and your arms

[28:53]

so that you're pretty sure, you know, that you're you. And then what we're going to do is your, you know, once you've got that you're you, you're going to stand up and see if you can do this with your eyes closed. And if you start to lose the sense that you're you, then, you know, sit down for a minute, move slowly so you can maintain the feeling of being you. So at your own pace, come to standing in a way that you can still feel like I'm me, I'm myself. This is the way it feels to be me. Some of you might feel like you're yourself,

[30:04]

you know, when you meditate in the morning. I feel that way when I sit in the morning. And then once you're standing, take your time if you're not standing yet, but once you're standing, just rather slowly open your eyes and see if you can be looking the way that you would look at things. And not particularly, you know, yet focusing on anything. And then just take a few steps being you and see what it feels like to walk being you. And see what you notice and what you can feel in your body, what it feels like to be you in your body. And what you've noticed when you're you, what you notice about other people, you know, without, you know, studying them necessarily. But just like what you, being you,

[31:05]

what sort of sense do you have of the other people in the group, what's the energy in the room, and so on. And you have a little feeling of your own posture. And I guess at the time of it, you like to talk to other people in your group. And you get a little sense of that. How do you feel, and how do you feel in your group. And also just the general sense of the energy in the room or something about the atmosphere of things. And then come back to your place and sit down again.

[32:24]

And if you want, you can stop being you now. Anyway, we have a little pause before the next part of the game here. Now the next thing we're going to try out is to see if you can be good. What does it feel like to be good? A good way to do this, you know, is to see if you can have really good posture. You can start with, you know, what would really good posture be like? And again, it's easiest if you close your eyes, go inside, and you organize yourself so that you're good. Remember now, some of you, you know, I've noticed are a little resistant to being good. So you have to concentrate, especially hard, to see if you can be good. Those of you who have. So see if you can, you know,

[33:37]

you check out your posture. Like how do you hold your head? You know, what's a good way to have your head if you're being good? How do you position your shoulders in order to be good? And your torso, your back, how is your back? You know, if you were just for the fun of it now, if you came here, you would be good for a few minutes. How would you hold your body? Probably if you're good, you would want to, you know, make sure that other people can't see anything that's bad about you. It's part of being good, you know, to do your best not to let anything bad you think

[34:43]

or are concerned about you. Okay, and then, I think you're doing pretty well at this. So again, with your eyes closed, and slowly enough so that you can go on getting good, you know, your perfection comes in. If you start to lose it and, you know, you're not good enough, then go back to sitting again and recognize yourself enough so that when you get to standing, you are good. Okay. And if people wear vests, then you can wear it. So see where it feels like to be standing is to be really good.

[35:57]

If your posture is good, you have the right attitude, you have the right state of mind, you have no problems. You're not at all confused. In fact, you know, you are, in fact, in need of that good. And then, again, slowly, we're going to walk around the room and see what it feels to walk while you're doing good. See what you notice about the feeling of walking. What you notice about your breath. See if you can find the breath. See what you notice about other people, how you talk, you know.

[37:11]

See how connected or, you know, see whether that is connected to other people. Notice, you know, what you can about the atmosphere of your breath. Notice, you know, what you can about other people, you know. Without electronics, probably you don't want that. How did you notice that? And we're going to start getting back towards our seats. Have a little taste of what it is to be good, how you feel, how your body feels. The atmosphere in the room. And we'll come back to sitting. Close your eyes.

[38:36]

Let these practices go inside. Well, you did pretty well at being good. I'm not sure you did a good job. You did pretty well. Good enough, probably. But now, you have your great chance to do bad. As you can see, you can take positive and bad. You can have a bad attitude. So this means you get to be, you know, whatever you feel like. Ditchy, fussy, annoyed, scared. You get to be any of these things. You get to be silly. If in your world, being silly is bad.

[39:38]

You probably can come up with a way to be bad. Anyway. So, you can be stupid. And, you know, this means also you get to have your arms wherever, your legs wherever. Your head can be at whatever, any angle. You know, there's no particular obvious way to be bad. Usually, you know, being good is good. So when you've got some sense of how you'd like to be bad for the next part of this endeavor, you can stand up and check it out. And again, if you find yourself being good on the way out, just stand and sit back down.

[40:43]

And to start with, you know, stand up with your eyes closed. Start with that. And then, uh, and then we're going to... Once you stand up, you get to walk around a little bit. And it seemed like it was good next to me. Bad next to me. And how many people looked at me, you know? Oh, my God! We love you, Ben. We love you, Ben.

[41:49]

So usually, being bad, there's a lot more energy to it than being good. You probably noticed that already. Some of you are not very good at being bad. We obviously have a star in it. Okay, and you're going to... we're going to go... we'll come back to sitting now. Some of you have obviously had too much training in this instance to be especially bad. Even if it's just clay. Anyway, usually, you know, we... As I said, you know, you probably notice there's a little different energy in the room, right? What if we can talk about this later? So we have one last part to this, okay? And again, if you would close your eyes, go inside into the room.

[42:54]

We've had a chance... you've had a chance to see what does it feel like as close as you can to being you. And you've had a chance to be good at what that feels like. And you've had a chance to be bad. And how does that feel in your body? How do people look in the room? How the energy of the room changes with each move. So now we're going to do one last thing, which is... What about, you know, not being good, not being bad, and not being particularly attached? Or being, you know, especially you. As you are familiar with being, but who you are, you know, now.

[44:02]

Not who you are when you're used to being you, or when you're being good, or when you're being bad. What would that feel like in your body? You're not trying to be in a particular way, rather than some other way. You're not trying to show everyone how good you are. You can conceal from others who you are from inside. You're not trying to be bad, where you do something, especially, you know, unruly or indifferent or whatever. So how would it feel just to be you? Not particularly, not in any particular way, but just to be embodied in this moment.

[45:10]

Without any particular agenda of maintaining yourself being good or being bad. What would that be like? When you have some feeling in your body, at your own pace, come up and stand in front of me. And just see what it's like to stand for a little bit. Encourage me with your eyes closed. And see if you can stand up. Without any particular agenda. Kiss me, and embody me. I'm a big deer. Can you hear me? Well, this we'll have to decide too, obviously. What's interesting is, you know, you have a 1967 version, and I was over here, having just been hanging out in the community for about 10 years.

[46:13]

I just was hysterical on the inside, because I was like, we have, you don't necessarily have a version, ours is a rolling version. You keep changing. Right, it is a continuously rolling version. I mean, you basically get three balls, and three pieces of equipment, or utensils, but it's rolling. Well, I figure, you know, you'll have to decide this. Maybe you and Marianne want to, you know, have a... I was here in 1978. 67? Yeah, but I haven't seen that one. You want me to come to the array of construction? Well, maybe at noon we should all do it. All right, at noon we could all do it, and not go up here. All right. I thought I could get a... perform mariochi for all of you, but... it's more complicated than that, isn't it?

[47:16]

I have just received this thing from New York. It's an original... Geisel? Film. Video. Video. Yeah. No, well you could, that would be a good way to do it, though. Then you could say, it's the video of 19... you know, the 1998 video from someone. That's the oriochi way. And then you could just send people, go watch the video. Before you come to Széchényi, you must study this video, and be able to pass the test on the internet. And videotape yourself doing the oriochi. In accordance with the video you've seen. Is there anyone that wants to sit during the... We could send them out to the classroom. Yes, they'd go out there. I thought we were doing it during the lunch, during the actual lunch.

[48:26]

No, we're thinking about doing it at noon, which is a period of sitting and walking. The sitting is going to be 20 minutes. And the walking 10 minutes. So we have a half hour there. So we're going to... And then lunch may be a little late, because it may take one or two hours, three hours, to go through all of this. It's hard to know how long this could take. No, because then the lunch could be an hour or an hour and a half. And why mess up a good training session with food? I mean... I don't know. I just assume we have a separate period of oriochi instruction. And I'm willing to... I don't know what all the differences are. I know the way I do it and the way I learned to do it. But I tell you, there must be innumerable little subtle nuances and delicacies that people have come up with over the years.

[49:28]

All right, and then one other thing now. What about the heart sutra? Like the older one? Yeah, that one I don't think we really have. Not the old one, but I think we really have. I have. I have. Oh, you have? Is it enough for everybody? I think I have. All right, so if somebody can make copies... I would just assume to do the old heart sutra. Personally. And as I say, you can take this up with Diane when she gets back. I'm sorry that I can't be me. I mean, she didn't warn me that I was going to have to do a whole lot of new chants that I'm not familiar with. And so I just assume to do what we all like to do. Because for me at this point, a lot of form things I'm willing to work on with you, like shashi. Those things that I talked about, if you study this, your life will change. I have no doubt about it. And if you study, you know,

[50:28]

if you put your awareness in your feet when you walk, and notice how your feet are meeting the ground, or not meeting the ground, or receiving the ground, or not receiving the ground, or supported or not supported, if you study that, you know, your life will change. And to me it doesn't, you know, it's a whole different question of which heart sutra do you do? So I just assume to do a heart sutra that we all can feel like, you know, our energy goes into it. And we like, and we don't have to, you know, be like, I'm not sure I'm going to chant this song. I'm going to chant it in my own way. I want the chanting to be able to be energetic. Like last night when we did that chant and we started out and it wasn't, and then I said, let's do it faster. And then there was a really nice energy after that. Okay? So I just assume to go for, you know, the energy, enthusiasm, vitality, you know, some spirit, rather than, you know, some correctness.

[51:31]

To heck with correctness. We can withdraw from the Soto school if it comes to that. Now, however, you know, it may be, somebody said, well, Diane is trying to receive Dharma transmission, you know, and so she wants to be sure to do it the right way. Okay, well, if it comes down to that, as I say, you know, you may have to discuss this with her in the future. I'm here now, so, you know, you get me. So I say let's do something with some energy, vitality, enthusiasm. And if that's the old heart sutra, then let's do that. Okay? And then I would like to continue doing the Enmei Juku Kan, Enmei Juku Kanan-yo. The way we do it, and the way, as far as I know, the most traditional way to do it is with the Mokugyo. And it starts fairly slow, and then it keeps speeding up. Here's the seventh time. And it keeps speeding up all the way through.

[52:42]

See, that's very energetic. And then... I'm not sure you're familiar with the Kansaion, but, you know, some people say, and what would they know, but, you know, contrary to Zen, they say the only thing you need to do is sit the Zazen. You heard that? You know, you don't need to offer incense. You don't need bowing. Just Zazen. And there's even, you know, Uchiyama Roshi and his disciple, I mean, what's his teaching name? Suwakikota Roshi. He had a whole, you know, his temple, they just did Zazen. They had no service, no bowing, no chanting, no Dharma talks, no lectures, you know, just Zazen. I think maybe they got up and walked every now and again.

[53:43]

We do that. You have the Uchiyama K? Or we just sit walking. Sit walking. Oh, you get to eat too, right? Yes. Oh, well, may not be true way. But anyway... You just serve yourself. Oh. You can do that, though, any old time. That's true. So you come here, you know, we have our... Anyway. So let's see. The heart sutra. So the image you can kind of go, some people say, that's all you need to do. And if you want to do something, you know, during the day while you're out and about, K? And you know this is an invocation for all of this for Kanan, you know, of the Bodhisattva of Compassion. So...

[54:47]

See, so I've done that. I could. I guess. I guess. All right. Anyway, so I've done that practice, you know, like all day, you know, all the time. All day, all night. I go for two, and you go for two, and I do with my feet, you know. So I did, you know, I didn't... I was going to do 100,000, you know, so I only did about 20,000. But yeah, you've got to keep up with this stuff. Otherwise, you know, what's the point if you can't, you know, have something to point at and say you accomplished it? No, it's a Tibetan deal, you know, as opposed to a Soto Zen deal. In a Tibetan deal, you have to count these things, so you do like 100,000. You know, in Tibetan practices, you advance through practices. So you do your 100,000 in prostrations, and your 100,000 mantra things, and that's purification practice. Do you know why it's called purification practice?

[55:50]

It's because when you go to do these things, you get angry and resentful and annoyed and frustrated and, you know, sad and, you know, you feel victimized. So all that stuff gets cleared out by doing purification practices. And usually in Soto Zen, then, you know, people, after a while, figure out how to sit without doing purification. Or sometimes, you know, initially when you do sitting practices, it's purification practice. And then after you, after you go through a certain amount of purification, you're sitting, you learn how to sit without doing very much purifying. So then it's when you get up to walk, and you go, this walking is shit. Who needs this walking stuff? I'm going to the bathroom. Or, you know, it comes time to bow and chant, and you say, I'm out of here. You know, like, this is just ritual. To heck with that. You see? And you know, and because you know, if you did that walking, or if you did that service, you would start to cry,

[56:52]

or you would, you know, you would feel like you were about to scream. And then instead of screaming, you know, something like, you know, Kanzen has to come out of your mouth. So that's why it's a purification practice. But anyway, the Tibetans are big on a hundred thousand this, a hundred thousand that. and then you get, once you've completed them, then you get to go on to the next one. So then they have a different idea about, you know, and then, work is very big. You know, work is as important as anything. Work is a place to be in life, and this is where we're sitting, right? You've heard this, right? Yes. The most advanced, only the most advanced profound, you know, deep students get to be the 10th O. Thank you. So, you know, but in Tibetan practice, no, that's not true. You know, so because people are busy advancing through their practice and getting on, you know, if you went to work in the kitchen, you don't get to spend the day bowing,

[57:54]

so now you're going to fall behind. You know, other teachers if you started practice where they're going to be getting in their 100,000 frustrations and going on to the next practice much sooner than you. So you wouldn't want to work in the kitchen or have to do any work. You want to be able to do your religious, spiritual stuff all day long. Anyway, there are many, you know, I've obviously passed my time, so I'll have to, you know, I may continue about this in the meantime. Huh? So, so let's, I don't know the schedule here, but let's, It's a rest period. It's a rest period. Oh, we have a rest period.

[58:32]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ