Happy and to see and listen to, to remember and accept. I vow to take the truth of the Tathagata's words. When I start thinking about the lecture, I seem to have gotten into something of a rut. It's sort of the same kind of a format for each talk. But maybe if, instead of calling it a rut, we call it a groove, it will be all right.

[01:00]

What kind of animals are the closest to a rut? Elements and things, yeah. Large mammals. So today I thought, you know, now that we've mentioned, we've mentioned Sashina's house cleaning, amusement park, the side trips that are possible. Today I thought we could talk about, a little bit, I would talk about Sashina's, the Spring Olympics. The spiritual athlete strikes again, you know. And, you know, how many Sashinas have you sat and did you sit half lotus or full lotus?

[02:14]

And how many periods did you sit full lotus? And how many periods of each day? And, well I sat most of the Sashina full lotus and I didn't move. Gee, I didn't do so well. I moved a lot. You know, I kept track of how many, I had very few, very little distracted thinking. You know, it was really, it was really great, you know. I mean, I was, I just, so well at following my breath and, it was very far out, man. I bet, like I, you know, it was very funny, you know. I bet I can sit a Sashina faster than you can.

[03:14]

Of course, the retort to that is, you know, my Sashina, I bet I can sit a Sashina longer than yours. Because, you know, the more moments that you're conscious of, the longer it seems. Because every conscious moment is, you know, that is what actually makes time. So, the longer the Sashina is, you know, that obviously shows greater concentration, and awakeness, more conscious time, more quality time. I was thinking about Kenyan. And what about Kenyan, you know. I stayed for all the Kenyans. I didn't take break. And I never once during Sashin went like this at mealtime. It was whole scoops or nothing.

[04:23]

So anyway, the race is on. Here we are. I keep thinking, you know, my God, this is only the fourth day. I'm moving back up. So in honor of the, you know, Sashin is an athletic event. Now, I came up with a poem, it's another Kabir poem. It's about the spiritual, the spiritual athlete. And this poem, you know, uses the pronoun he, uses the pronoun he a lot. And this may be a poem more for men, you know, who are macho and into the macho and competitive, combative aspects of life. Women, on the other hand, are, of course, an exempt from this kind of competitiveness.

[05:40]

That's probably why it says he and not she. Anyway, I'm just going to leave the he's. Forgive me. The spiritual athlete. The spiritual athlete often, often changes the color of his clothes. And inside, he remains gray and loveless, cold and calculating. He sits in a shrine room all day, so the guest has to go outside in order to play. Or he drills holes in his ears. His beard grows enormous and matted, people mistake him for a goat.

[06:47]

He goes off into the wilderness and strangles his impulses and considers himself superior to those who indulge theirs. Or he shakes his head, puts his robes in a black vat, reads the Blue Clip record and becomes a terrific talker. Now, Kabir says. Kabir says, he made the best sport win.

[07:53]

Kabir says, he made the best sport win. Have it your way and you have it your way. Have it your way and I'll go mine. You go your way and I'll go mine. Kabir says, actually, you are riding in a hearse to the kingdom of death, abound end and foot. I guess that, I guess that wraps up the spiritual athlete.

[09:01]

And now that he's buried. Or was that too fast? Do you want to bring it back again? He's still running around. He's still running around. Anyway, I think you get the idea about the spiritual athletes. And I think you must have some feeling for the kind of trap this is. And the kind of irony, certainly, in this kind of mentality. To bring that kind of approach to spiritual practice.

[10:06]

Or what we call spiritual practice. Lately, I think, I can't, it's very hard to pick out what is spiritual and what is not spiritual. When you look around, I know at various teachers and groups, it's hard to see sometimes. As someone who is spiritual. As Suzuki Roshi said, when you start to, we should, whether you are a priest or layman, you need to, we should practice big mind, with the big mind rather than small mind. Small mind is this mind that he used to, he used small mind and big mind.

[11:10]

Small mind is this mind that compares. And in the process of comparing, it makes one's self small to compare one's self with others. Or to measure one's own practice or attainment or realization or understanding. It makes us small to think like that. So he suggested, would suggest, practice with big mind. And first when you practice with big mind, you feel, you extend it to your friends and to yourself and to things. Some boundless feeling rather than this critical feeling. Or comparative, always measuring, engaging feeling. So first you notice you are doing this and then after a while you can't notice it anymore.

[12:11]

It just seems, it just seems normal. It's not something you can point out as, oh this is spiritual, or this is a realization. It's just ordinary or normal. Kaya Giriraji said at that installation ceremony I mentioned before, in the king of samadhi, in the king of samadhi, the profane and the holy always and only coexist. So this is the kind of trap that if one is, gets involved in this athletic or competitive

[13:31]

side, how do you, there's always, there's no end to it. And finally all the measurements are to no avail because they don't, they're just temporary views and measurements and they have nothing to do with who you are. They don't adhere. So you don't have your accomplishment after all or your lack of accomplishment after all. The same for others. So while we're on this sporting metaphor, I have another story for you.

[14:39]

It's about going for a ride in a boat. This is from Zenki. I quietly investigate whether a breathing and all the things that arise together with breathing are inseparable or not. There is not a moment or a time, there is not a moment or a time that is apart from breathing. There is not an object or a mind that is apart from breathing. Breathing is like going for a ride in a boat. You raise the sails and you row the oars.

[15:48]

And although you row the oars, the boat gives you a ride. But you ride in the boat. But you ride in the boat. And your riding makes the boat what it is. I investigate a moment such as this. At just such a time, there is nothing. There is nothing but the world of the boat. The sky, the water, and the shore, all are the boat's world, which is different than a world that is not the boat's.

[17:10]

Now when you ride in a boat, when you ride in a boat, your body and mind and the environment together are all the undivided activity of the boat. The entire earth and the entire sky together are the undivided activity of the boat. And thus, you are nothing but breathing, and breathing is nothing but you. This is rather similar to what I was talking about yesterday, I think. But it brings out... I get my belts on too tightly sometimes when you're standing up.

[18:19]

Your stomach doesn't stick out as far as when you're sitting down. I keep finding that it's constricting. So yesterday, I emphasized in talking that breathing, the breath inside the breath, your spirit is of no importance. And whoever heard of the Buddha's ancestors, how in that sense everything disappears in that absorption, in that kind of absorption.

[19:20]

And this is the other side of that, everything is the world of the breath, which is different than a world that is not the boat's world, the world of the breath. The usual world, when we think about the world and how things exist, how our life is, what's going on, we think about it as existing out there apart from us. We don't think about it as being the world of our breath. It is a world that... it's not a world that breathes, it's not a world that's alive.

[20:26]

It's a world that we've, in thinking, grasped and stopped. We have to stop it in order to look at it. And we forget that we've done that. That's a different world. That's a world in which things exist. In some particular way, in that particular existence, we think of it as being real. And then we feel good or bad about it, or happy or sad, and we try to think about, what am I going to do about that? How can I change it or make it better? But the world that is the world of the boat, when everything is the boat's world, this world is breathing.

[21:32]

And it doesn't have that kind of fixed existence any longer. It's a much more fluid and dynamic world. And this is a world that is... It's a different world that is the world of my experience, of my truth, rather than some objective world or objective truth. If we try to talk about objective world or objective truth, then it's possible to get into arguments.

[22:46]

You should do this. No, you should do that. This is a better spiritual practice than this other spiritual practice. As though it had something to do with some objective truth. It's quite possible then to make up various arguments. But, similar to that, when we talk about my world or my truth, nobody can argue with it. It's like those workshops with Churchill, and he said, why don't you try making I statements? I think, I feel, I see, I notice, I observe. That's one kind of practice that makes it clear. This is my world.

[23:48]

This is my truth. And it's not something to argue about. So, is there something apart from the breath or not? How is it that things exist? And do they exist objectively or do they exist subjectively?

[24:51]

What is it that's going on? What is it that's going on? When we row the oars, the boat gives us a ride. And without the boat, no one could ride.

[25:54]

Without the breath, no one could ride. And the breath gives us a ride. But still, you ride in the boat. And your riding makes the boat what it is. So this riding is... What about this riding in the boat? Are we trying to get someplace? If the boat is your breathing,

[27:00]

and how you ride makes your breathing what it is, how will you ride then? You know, if you... If we have some idea of a world that exists... No, I can't sit still. I'm distracted. I can't sit still. I'm one thing or another.

[28:03]

And we believe it's true. There's some problem. It changes our breathing. We can't breathe. We think, oh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe freely anymore. I can't relax and breathe freely until I take care of this problem. And then I'll relax. So, of course, if you think like that, we don't get to relax very often because it's easy to see many difficulties and problems. And things we don't like.

[29:06]

There's some little problem or another. So, you know, one way to look at practice is that we practice breathing. You know, we practice breathing. You know, we return to the world, which is the boat's world. The world of the boat. The world of our breathing. Everything, we return everything to that world. And then we can breathe with some calmness and equanimity even though it looks like some disturbance. How easy to say, huh?

[30:14]

Silence Silence So when the mind clings to the characteristic of things or adheres to the samadhi of oneness or tries to dwell in emptiness, or whatever, when the mind clings to the characteristic of things,

[31:43]

it's forgetting that that the sky and the water and the shore are all the boat's world and thinking that there's a world apart from the world of the boat. And when we live in that world, that we think is apart from the boat, then it's easy to get caught up in each thing and what it's like. And there's endless things to be concerned about. Endless kinds of complaints and criticisms and competitiveness that we can get involved in in that world

[32:44]

when we think of it as being apart from the world of the boat. So it's not as though all those things don't exist, but when they exist as the boat's world, we don't attach to them or cling to them in the same way. And then we say, oh, that's just my, that's my breath that looks like passion.

[33:44]

It's my breath that looks like anger. It's my breath that looks like criticism. It's my breath that looks like some object. And if you take care of your breath, then you take care of it. And you take care of, taking care of your breath, you take care of the situation, which is different than trying to manipulate or control the objects that come. And still you may relate to the objects as it were, but again, you relate differently if they're aspects of, as it were, of your breathing than if you think of them as being apart from you. It's just a different relationship.

[34:49]

If you think of something as being apart from you, or if you think of something as your own breathing. There's a different kind of, you can have a, some warmth and some respect and appreciation for someone else or things that are happening. And so instead of being critical of yourself or others, and you have more of the feeling, oh, that's just like me, isn't it? This is just the way I think. I sure get involved in things just like this, don't I? This is exactly what I do. And there's nothing, there's not something wrong with it. It's just what I do. And the same with other people.

[35:53]

She's really like, that's exactly the way she is. That's exactly the way he is. He's just like that, isn't he? It doesn't mean, you know, when we talk like this, it always makes it sound like, well, this is acceptance and you can't do anything about it and you're stuck with the way things are and so on. But no, that's too simple of an understanding. You have to think about it as, it's not that we don't do anything or say anything or act or react or whatever, but it's different if it's the boat's world, your breath's world, or if it's a world you think of as being apart from your breath. And what you say and what you do

[36:56]

will be different. You know, you can actually think, if it's separate from your breath, you can think you can get rid of something. But you don't get rid of your breath. You may row, but your breath gives you a ride. And so on. So you don't think you can get rid of something. You don't think, how do you gain something? You know, in that case. You don't think you can gain something, but aside from gaining or getting rid of, acquiring or losing, there's some interaction you can have. There's some

[38:00]

meeting that can take place. And you present yourself, your best and your vow and your intention and you try to manifest it. You try to actualize it in that actual situation. But when it's part of, when it's the world of your breath, you don't have the same kind of unrealistic ideas about what you can do. That it is possible to attain. That it is possible to get rid of. That it is possible to perfect yourself. That it is possible to realize the truth. To get rid of delusion. To strangle your impulses.

[39:04]

To succeed where others have failed. And so on. You don't have those kind of ideas. You meet someone or you meet yourself. Meeting someone is meeting yourself. You actualize. You try to. You trip on. Stumble into. Stumble upon. Hit on. Dream up what to do. To manifest. Actualize your vow. Your intention. In the Genjo Koan

[40:09]

it says I kind of hesitate to bring up enlightenment but there it is. Enlightenment is like Enlightenment is like the moon in the sky. Enlightenment is like the moon reflected in the sky. Reflected on the water the moon does not get wet and the water is not broken. Even though the light of the moon is great and wide it is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide. The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in the dew drops on the grass and even in a single drop

[41:10]

of water. At the depth of the drop is the height of the moon. This moment of reflection whether long or short reflects the limitless quality of the moon in the sky. It won't work to look for this kind of limitless quality in the

[42:11]

objective experience. Because we have long and short and where is limitless? And if we try to get rid of long and short and calm and disturbed in order to get at the limitless quality as though the limitless quality is behind that or underneath that it's not possible. The moon does not get wet. Enlightenment doesn't

[43:13]

manifest as enlightenment something that you can point out oh see now this is enlightenment and this isn't enlightenment and I see because this has a characteristic of enlightenment and this doesn't. The moon doesn't get wet. It doesn't get wet or dry and the water isn't broken the water just our experience goes on and on and it's not broken you know we see we hear we taste we touch there's feelings impulses perceptions of consciousness it's unbroken continuous flow unbroken

[44:17]

I think I left out a line too that says enlightenment does not enlightenment does not divide you just like the water is not broken and you do not hinder enlightenment just like the water doesn't hinder the moon in the sky so it's not there's no division oh this is oh this was real enlightened of me this is diluted this is diluted there can't be any division it can't be something that divides experience that way

[45:34]

and also I don't know exactly how it is why they say you can't hinder enlightenment it's something we can't exactly say it's something we experience even it doesn't get wet and this wetness this water is unbroken and yet the water reflects in this analogy and yet the water reflects the light of the moon even a puddle an inch wide reflects the light of the moon even the dew drops on the grass even a single drop of water even a single drop of water so this means

[46:43]

whatever our experience is enlightenment is reflected there how could this be how is it that this is enlightenment and this is enlightenment and this is enlightenment and this is enlightenment moment after moment so again this is not something objective this is something to be practiced this is something we can practice we can practice this is enlightenment this is enlightenment how could this

[47:46]

miserable drop of water be enlightenment where is that moon and because of this you know then we can see also what is the point of all these spiritual athletics of trying to do this trying to strangle that trying to be

[48:49]

holy trying to be perfect trying not to do this trying to do that and what's the point and what does it prove why bother you know we have to do those we do those things to help us see the moon in each drop of water and that's the reason we seem to do it any of those things but if we're actually busy if we're not careful then all we're doing is you know carefully shadowing the drop of water

[49:52]

from the moon and then we say I don't see any moon there but it's because we already decided the moon couldn't be there this couldn't have anything to do with the moon I know that this has nothing to do with the moon these impulses we have to get rid of them they just don't reflect any moon or whatever it is we have to get rid of and so we need some rules the rules are to help us so we don't fall into that kind of thinking which is such a habit oh this couldn't possibly have anything

[50:53]

to do with the moon so I have to get rid of that I have to not move I have to when I come to this end be serious and seeking wholeheartedly for the truth I can't be frivolous at all I can't have fun this is a life and death matter but what about the undivided activity of the breath you know everything everything is included in the undivided activity of the breath oh I wanted to mention

[52:00]

I talked with Steve and Paul and Jonathan and we thought it may be that the open sitting in the afternoon we thought it may help to end the open sitting in the afternoon with all of us sitting together so we thought we would try out maybe it makes sort of the period after tea sort of makes it into two periods but you can still do but we thought it would be nice if we all sit together the last half hour of the afternoon to kind of close the afternoon with some more connected or together feeling so we wanted to try having an interval one bell at 4.50 and then another bell at 5 o'clock

[53:03]

which would then mean after 5 o'clock there would be a half hour where we all sit together so we thought we'd try that see how that works I guess if you happen to leave at 4.48 I guess you'll be able to figure it out does that make sense we do a bell in here in the zendo so if you happen to be out you'll just come back and you sit and you get back but it sort of means if you do it for a break after tea and then come back at 4.15 or 4.20 then there's a half hour to the interval and then 10 minutes and then another half an hour or if you start so you still can take a break after tea or not or whatever but we wanted to try having close the afternoon with some more undivided undivided

[54:07]

period I don't know if that's alright the birds are certainly nice singing this Sishin I don't know where I was all those other spring Sishins I never heard birds before thank you very much may our intention be free that we may be

[55:09]

embraced with the true merit of love's way

[55:19]

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