Having been to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Chittagata's words. It's nice to have such a small practice period, I feel like I can actually talk to everyone. This morning on the way over here we had a little koan.

[01:05]

It was similar to, does a dog have Buddha nature? And the usual answer is no. And in this case we found out that once again that Zuri has stick nature. He wanted the incense stick. And he had to hold it quite high. And then we had to distract him with other sticks. Or he would have come right into this Indra with us. For a while, at some point after I arrived and we had that first general meeting and a couple of people I think at least said, we don't like it when somebody talks during Zazen.

[02:09]

And people said some other things. For a while I thought, I had a little bit of a feeling like maybe you want a Godo who keeps his mouth shut and does what he's told. But other people since then have assured me that they want me to talk. Sometimes at least. And that if it came down to it, they would back me up. They would support me. I think about what I'm doing here. I think the kind of practice I try to do is not to see what other people are doing

[03:27]

or how they're practicing as some reflection of me. Actually you can see it. Both ways. If you see somebody else practicing well, then that's you practicing well. And if you see somebody else not practicing well, then that's you not practicing well. But I've been trying to see that what other people do is what they do. That if I practiced harder, they'd be more encouraged to come to Zazen. Or if I did something differently, then they wouldn't think the way they think. All of those kind of things. That it's all my fault. I'm trying to be very careful not to think that way. That what you do has anything in particular to do with me, but that it comes out of who you are and how you do things.

[04:30]

And I see my job, in a sense, to try to give Buddhist teaching. And again, though, it's not particularly up to me whether or not you understand or for me to force you to understand or hit you so you'll understand or something like that. At least I don't feel that way now. I feel it's enough for me to try to give some Buddhist teaching and the other part is up to you. Again, that it's not some reflection on me. I think that, since I had some experience before with a number of years ago being Tantra,

[05:33]

that I think it's kind of mistakes that somebody can make when they're in a position of being a so-called practice leader or something. To think that other people goofing off is because... To think that you can correct everything and make people understand I think is a mistake. So anyway, still I may do that and if I do, you'll probably mention it to me. And we can take it from there. Today I wanted to... Today I wanted to talk about non-discrimination. Non-discrimination is a very important aspect of practice.

[06:39]

Of course we can't stop discriminating. When you open your eyes you'll see different colors and when you listen you'll hear different sounds. And when you think, you'll think various thoughts. Each sight or sound or thought has its own existence. So I thought I would mention, in this context, the saying, every day is a good day, that Inman or Uman said. I don't ask you about before the 15th, but say something about after the 15th.

[07:56]

And then he said, every day is a good day. So this kind of statement, of course, I think I mentioned this in my last talk. If every day is a good day, how do you... What is good compared to the days that are bad? You have no bad days compared to... One of the remarks about that saying says, that though the frog leaps, tries to leap, he can't get out of the basket. Whose house has no bright moon or pure wind.

[09:06]

And the sea god knows its value, but doesn't know its price. I think about that frog as our jumping mind. And the basket is this present moment. Present moment which is beyond comparison, which there's no way to compare with any other moment. In a real way, of course we can imagine and jump about, and compare today with yesterday. But, you know, with our memory of yesterday, we can compare today with our anticipation or imagine tomorrow. Or with some kind of standard that we...

[10:19]

wishes or expectations that we have and carry with us. So in this way we can jump about, and still we don't get out of the present. There's actually... there's no way to be outside. In this moment, this house then,

[11:21]

whose house has no bright moon or pure wind, this present is like that. This present has no bright moon or pure wind. This house, this inside, there's another expression, nothing outside this vastness. And this present moment, which seems, you know, if you are jumping about, and looking at it from, I suppose it outside, it looks very small, and kind of petty, maybe, oftentimes. Anyway, I think if one is not jumping about, one finds that the... it is completely inside, it's vast, and there is a bright moon and a pure wind. And this kind of way of being has its value,

[12:41]

although it's not negotiable. This kind of being, you know, has its inherent virtue. It's not something, though, that has a price. Where you have some wonderful experience, and then the next time you're feeling sad, you can trade in your past wonderful experience to alter your present sadness, that sort of thing. You can accumulate experiences that have some negotiable value. So there's no way to put a price on this, or to compare this kind of moment, being in this way, with other moments. Oh, this kind of experience is more valuable than that kind of experience.

[13:45]

This kind of experience has a greater price. All experience has its value. Later on in the commentary, it says, killing others is not as good as killing yourself. As soon as you establish a principle, you fall into a pit. So recently, Mel and I had a discussion. Mel said to me, Well, how's the practice period going? What do you think? You know, what do you think? What principle should I establish to gauge how the practice period is going, compared to last practice period,

[14:50]

compared to practice periods ten years ago, compared to how I'd like practice period to go, if it was just up to my, you know, wishful thinking. How is practice period going compared to when I went to college, compared to life in the city? On a scale of, you know, zero to a hundred, how concentrated is this practice period? And how would you find out? You know, how would you step outside this practice period and measure? And what scale would you use? What standards? How would you be able to judge? How is it going?

[15:52]

And then, what is a practice period, Mel? There's, how many of us, 32? You know, 32 practice periods, or something like that. You know, at least 32 practice periods. If we don't count the practice periods, if we don't count the practice periods for the tans, each tan and each board and each mat, and the lamps and so on, and all the rocks and plants, each have their own practice period also. How is it going for them? And I thought about this also,

[17:14]

when I was thinking about physicians. And I don't really think that, you know, there's any way to measure or there's no way to determine what is the best position for someone. Again, you know, how would we ever decide what's best for someone? Or what's best for Tassajara? Or, you know, if it's best, it's best, you know, compared to what? And then how do we make a comparison? We have to compare between what's actually happening. We have to compare between two imagined happenings. What if this person, we imagine somebody doing one position and we imagine them being in the kitchen or being in the shop. And then we have to imagine who they are and we have to imagine what it would be like for them to do these positions. And then we have to decide something about what's best for them. Is it best for them to do something they're used to doing or something they're not so used to doing?

[18:17]

Or is it nice for them to be with people or not? And then which would be best? And would it be best for them to have a difficult time or a fun time? Do they need fun or do they need difficulty? And so on, you know, it would be very complicated to try to figure out what's best. I don't think it's possible to do. So I don't think that that's what we do. I mean, basically, I think in a domestic situation the idea is just the positions change every so often. We just take turns doing all the positions. It's true if somebody sits around and says, well, gosh, they've been here two practice periods and they haven't been in the kitchen yet. Probably they ought to go in the kitchen. And then after they've been in the kitchen for a while, we say, well, probably they ought to be a Doan now. And they just keep changing around then. And generally, we sort of think of some positions like, well, probably the people who are on the staff should have been here longer because you think of them as being more responsible or something. But I think if we had some idea about

[19:18]

that we're trying to do what's best, it's a big swamp. It's a huge bog. And we start sinking very quickly. Blub, blub. Well, I think it would be best. No, it wouldn't. Yes, it would. I want it best for Tassajara. No, I want it best for me. Anyway, it just goes round and round. And there's no way really to know. There's completely no way to decide what is a good practice period or not a good practice period. Or whether... Whether it's good for me to do one thing or something else.

[20:27]

And really know. So, Dogen says, the Buddha way is outside of thinking, analysis, speculation, visualization, knowledge, and wise explanation. If it wasn't outside, then it wouldn't be a Buddha way. All of those things. And since you've been doing all those things since your birth, how come you're not completely in the Buddha way already? So, this is where the notion of non-discrimination comes up.

[21:30]

And where we try to practice being present in each activity in such a way that we drop thinking, analysis, speculation, knowledge, and wise explanation, prophecy and visualization. And partly this is because, you know, as I said, we can't get rid of discrimination. But if we don't at least sometimes drop our thinking, then our thinking and speculation and so on is always based on some arbitrary outside viewpoint

[22:36]

that we set up in our jumping about. And the more we can not fall into that kind of habit and not rely on that as the way, gradually then our thinking and analysis and speculation becomes much more precise. Because it's based on how things actually are rather than on how we think they are using some arbitrary measure. So, Dogen also says,

[23:54]

don't practice Buddha Dharma for self. Don't practice Buddha Dharma for name and gain. Don't practice Buddha Dharma for blissful rewards. Don't practice for miraculous effects. Practice the Buddha Dharma solely for the sake of Buddha Dharma. Does it make sense? As soon as you try to step outside and establish the value, what's in it for me? What kind of gain is there? What is this going to do for my reputation? What do people think about me? Is this suitably blissful enough?

[25:01]

Is it spectacular enough? If you step outside and start assessing like that, you right away go off. So, not going outside like that and just practicing for the sake of practicing. And there's no way to see it. So, Dogen again says, if you turn, when you turn the enlightened eye back on the realm of practice, nothing in particular strikes the eye and you just see white clouds for 10,000 miles. You know, there's no way just sitting,

[26:15]

just doing gassho, just working, whatever you're doing, there's no way to see it. Step back and say, oh gosh, this is really great. And with the enlightened eye, you turn the enlightened eye, you don't see. Nothing in particular is striking. That was a great period of Zazen. It was really blissful. Something else was lousy. And on the other hand, if you practice with the idea of climbing the steps of enlightenment,

[27:19]

not even a speck of dust will support your feet. There'll be no place to stand with that kind of idea. So, you just stand in your practice and don't look at it from outside. And when you look at it from outside, you notice you're looking at it from outside. And you don't have to believe what you think then. You just have to, you notice that you're thinking, oh, this is just what I think. It doesn't have so much to do with the way things are. And look again at how things are.

[28:23]

And look very closely at how things are. All right. And you notice, no matter how much you think and jump about,

[29:24]

you can't get out of the basket. And you notice a bright moon and pure wind. And even though it's not good for anything in terms of price, it's quite valuable. Is there time for a talk? How long is it supposed to go on? Sure. Let's go on. There's time for a talk? Yeah. So, would you like to talk now? I hope I'm not being too serious. Jeff? You said that today is a great question.

[30:30]

It is. It's the way. And I find that it's beautiful. And I find that when I stay somewhere close to you, my mind can be very critical. And I can't seem to break that pattern. Do you find it useful? To be critical? Is it helpful? It's a practice. Hm? It's a practice. But is it helpful? Not to me. I think if you clearly decide it's not helpful, then you won't do it.

[31:35]

Then when you start to be critical, then you remind yourself, I've thought about this a lot and this is not helpful. Does that make sense? There's no magic, you know. If you decide, once you decide it's not helpful, then as it comes up, you notice it coming up. That's also a practice. You mean critical thinking is also a practice? You see it from outside and you see it from inside. It's the same. You understand it. Okay.

[32:39]

Well, one way maybe to understand that would be that when you see it from outside, it's like when I was talking about the hindrances last time, one way to see it is when you see it from outside, don't go on seeing it from outside. Don't say, oh, now I'm seeing it from outside. That's not any good. This is a real problem. Then that is seeing the outside as different than being inside. And because it's different, then you stay outside. And notice how different it is. So for it to be the same, you see it as the same.

[34:10]

In the sense that it's one more thing I do. This is what I do. And one becomes very intimate with it. But it's not something to be gotten rid of. You know, that kind of thinking is trying to, in one way to see it anyway, that kind of critical thinking is trying to help. And that's the only way it knows how to help. So again, one way to think about that is, if it's trying to help, but you actually don't find it to help, then you think, how could I use this kind of function in a helpful way? How could I use this kind of energy in a helpful way?

[35:17]

So one way to do that is to apply that same critical, and to ask that critical functioning to be very precise and careful. And would you please look again at what's happening, and what's going on, and how things work. And not think you already know what's what. And in that way, keep turning it back into practice. What we call practice. And turning it, you know, towards practice. Although it's all in the... And in that way, it's as much in the realm of practice as anything else. It's not outside the realm, and oh, I have to stay away from that completely. No, I turn it. I work with it in that way. Does that make sense?

[36:23]

I'm being a little bit wordy at the expense of... I'm afraid I'm being a little bit wordy, rather than being pithy. You're being what? Pithy. You know, saying something like, Oh, it's all right if you don't understand. But, um... When I turn it in, and I find myself recognizing it as being so many layers of judgment. Like how? How can I turn it in? And how seems to be an endless process that needs to be built on some habit that's been produced by me for years and years and years. Mm-hmm.

[37:32]

I don't find that. I don't know how to get there. To ask how. It's like standing on a diving board and asking yourself, How am I going to dive into that pool? You know, you know perfectly well how to dive in. It's just a matter of doing it. And you can spend a lot of time asking yourself how, but it's not going to help you get into the pool and start swimming around. It's just some way of putting it off. And once you do it, you know, you don't really need to know how, you just need to decide to do it and do it. You jump. Then you get wet, and then you thrash about, and you find out what that's like. It's fun. Once you've done it, you know,

[38:40]

you realize you don't need to know how, and you realize you knew all along. It's like getting out of bed in the morning. You know, it's equally painful this minute or in five. So why should you do it? In five. Steve? I didn't understand what... I may have fallen asleep during that part The part about the moon and the pure wind. What about it? I don't know what you're talking about. What does it mean? What is the moon and what is the pure wind? Or what is it in the context of the koan that you were talking about?

[39:43]

Why did he say such a thing? Oh, he said that in reference to every day is a good day. So that I think about it as... You know, usually we just don't know... It's something like everyone has it in their own house, the wind and the moon. Yes, in their own house. Even though when you look around your own house, you say, oh gosh, it's awfully cluttered here. I do an awful lot of critical thinking. Every time I try to settle down and just be absorbed in things, I find I'm doing a lot of critical thinking. Like what Doug was just saying, that sort of thing. And we don't notice the bright moon and the pure wind. We just notice the clutter. This isn't so good. That's the habit of thinking we have. That's pretty clear. I'd like to respond to what Doug was saying. When I think about studying something closely or carefully,

[40:48]

I can see where just a whole mass of criticism comes up. But I feel like that's just like a smoke screen, and maybe the first level. But the way Thich Nhat Hanh talked about looking at your hand, studying your hand, you can be very critical about the dry skin and the scars on it rather than seeing if it's arthritis or something. You study why, looking down through the layers of skin, right to the DNA or something like that, you start to understand what your hand is. And you accept it, because you see why it is that way. And maybe you don't even understand why, but it's obvious you know your hand better.

[41:54]

For it to be a certain size, you have to hold it up against something else. There has to be some background. And then you have to know what's the dimension of the background. Three Cho or something, you know. Oh, it's that long. You have to get outside. Just your hand from inside has no dimension. So we have to notice, we try to notice the no dimension as well as dimension. Yes. Again, kind of responding to Doug,

[43:04]

I find not only in relation to critical thinking, but any kind of thought or emotion, if I decide that it's something bad, like being critical of critical thinking, that actually gives it energy. Almost sort of in the same way that it does if I approve of it a lot. And so, if I don't capitalize on any approving or disapproving thoughts that may arise about what I'm thinking or feeling, and just try to open up and let it... I think of my chest as a field where these emotions can run around, dance, do whatever they want. Yeah. And somehow they have less power when I do that, right?

[44:07]

With long underwear it's a little harder, but... And again, even though I've tested this for myself again and again, I find my reaction is to exclude, reject certain things which actually, as I said, gives them more power than if I would let them in. Yes. Yes. I've been trying recently to remember, I guess,

[45:12]

to actually make more comparisons, and to remember that when I'm feeling really, really good that there's going to come a time when I'm feeling really, really good. I think I'm deluding the experience of feeling really confident, feeling really good. And so I don't know how... And you're kind of, you want to get the maximum out of your experience. You're not really concentrated, right? It's a puzzle problem. Because when I do get the maximum, sometimes it's not so great either. You can't win. But still trying to find a way. Yeah, if you have a concentrated experience, that's not always so great,

[46:17]

and then if you're deluded, that doesn't work either. Well, I think the usual kind of answer to that is nothing works. Yes. I was thinking about what Elaine said, and maybe I didn't really understand what she said, but it seemed to call for some response. The idea of, you know, well, things may be... You start looking at things, and then it's kind of going, you look at your hand, it's kind of blisters and whatnot, and then you look further, you get down to the DNA, and gee, the DNA is sort of great.

[47:19]

But I guess it's sort of a way of doing it. But when she talked about that, I started thinking of, like, Carol. Somehow I don't think looking down to the DNA is going to do much for her. I feel like it's possible to use these kinds of words, these kind of fancy Buddhist words, to actually mask over the experience. Does that make any sense to you? Yeah. The fact is that there is real suffering. Yeah, and we can talk about it any way we like.

[48:24]

But there is real suffering, and if we think that by practicing Buddhism, or by doing anything else, that we can somehow avoid that, then that's the kind of suffering that Buddhism, that the practice is about. Thinking that we can avoid fundamental suffering that is the nature of life. So that's why my response to Eleanor was, nothing will help. Because it sounds like there's some suffering there that you think it's possible to avoid, having your experience concentrated or diluting it, and then somehow you wouldn't have to have this suffering. But practice isn't about avoiding the suffering. If you think you can avoid the suffering, then you're caught.

[49:29]

So that's more like... Somebody the other day mentioned something Suzuki Roshi had said, when they heard about the mouse that somebody saved from the cat. And Suzuki Roshi at one point said, I'm a bodhisattva, allowing this cat to eat me, don't disturb my practice. Anyway, someone with cancer might think something like that. But it won't necessarily make it any less painful. There's real pain in life. You had your hand up earlier.

[50:46]

Yes, please. All right. If there's nothing to be seen, it's a black cloud that's about 10,000 miles away. There's no good in seeing things like that. I think that's right. I don't know. It's just a trick. It's just a little stage show.

[51:59]

We're all dancing around in Johnson's chest. That's why I feel sore. And he wants us to be dressed properly for his performance. The secret life of Jonathan's chest. Yes. Help me out. Why are you getting stuck there?

[53:07]

It's my natural tendency to get stuck. Getting overgrown. The mist is gathering. I forget exactly, but then he says, I snap my fingers. To dispel. To not get stuck there either. Well, as I said earlier, there's not some cure-all.

[54:10]

You have to apply the right medicine at the right time. And each of us has to learn how to be the great physician. Each of us has to learn how to be, you know, to prescribe for ourselves. What is the remedy for the present malady? To notice what the malady is and then adopt the antidote. And not to think that if one tablespoon is good, then a cup would be so much better. That's what I think. Well, thank you very much. May our intention equally penetrate every being and place.

[55:17]

With the true merit of Buddha's way...

[55:25]

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