Well, I brought my props tonight, brought two Zafus, I don't know if you can see them over there. This is one, this is one Zafu and then here's the other Zafu. So since I'm not really going to be participating probably in the skits tomorrow night, not being a resident here, I thought I'd do my little skit tonight. So there you have it. So recently I was at the, you know, a couple of weeks ago I was at the Buddhist Teachers Conference. There were Buddhist teachers from many parts of the world, Sri Lanka and Burma, Cambodia. There was Tibetans, of course, many Tibetans. People from America, people in the monastic tradition, somebody gave little cliches about

[01:04]

each of the groups so we'd be familiar with them in case we hadn't heard them yet. So Zen is apparently supposed to be good for enlightenment, too bad they don't have any ethics. That's the reputation out there in the world. It used to be that, you know, the cooks and bakers practiced Zen, the therapists go and practice Vipassana and the artists and musicians practice Tibetan Buddhism, Vajrayana. So I don't know if that's true anymore, but there were a lot of therapists there who were also Buddhist teachers. That's of course a big topic of discussion, you know, is Buddhism enough or should you have psychotherapy, too? And when? And so forth. And should your therapist be your Buddhist teacher or should they be two different people? This kind of thing. So it's always interesting to listen to people talk and, you know, we weren't trying to figure

[02:05]

out who the real Buddhist was, fortunately. That's kind of a painful exercise, you know, where some people want to claim it all for themselves and then other people are on the out, you know, you're not the real Buddhists, we are. And why is because we're doing this practice and you're not, that sort of thing. So far in America, you know, the Buddhists are getting along really well, unlike Asia where apparently one of the monastics from Sri Lanka said that if he goes to Burma his ordination doesn't count. I mean, he's wearing Buddha's robe, eating Buddha's food, going begging, he's following all the precepts, you know, for monks, but it doesn't count if he goes to Burma. It's kind of sad. You would think that Buddhists would have gotten over this by now, but. So anyway, I was in, you know, here at Tassajara you have small groups, right?

[03:06]

So at the Buddhist Teachers Conference we were each assigned to a small group. They were called home groups. So my home group happened to have three Tibetan Rinpoches, Joseph Goldstein, one of the heads of the Vipassana tradition here in America, someone named Shinzen Young, and a woman named Edie Irwin, and me, little old me. So one of the Tibetan Rinpoches said to me, so what's the difference between you and Joseph, you know, Zen and Vipassana? So I said, are hairs shorter? We wear little outfits, they don't. And then he looked at me and said, no, I'm serious. I got really small and inarticulate at that point.

[04:10]

People, since I've been telling this story a few times, people said, you should have told him that you were being serious. That was, that was being serious. But anyway, I brought here my other example, one of my other examples of the difference between Zen and Vipassana. This is a Zen Zafu. Do you see how straight it sits? It sits there, you know, straight, uplifted, energetic. And even while you're not in the Zendo, it will be sitting for you, in your place, at your seat. You know, it just goes right on doing Zazen while you're not there. This is a Vipassana cushion. Now, you know, partly why people are attracted to certain schools is, you know, little things like this, because some people come here and they say, oh, I got so tired of all that color

[05:22]

and all those different deities and everything in Tibetan Buddhism, this is such a relief. It's just black and, you know, one or two statues, what a relief. And other people say, black, it's so dreary. And they just, they love Tibetan Buddhism, you know. But anyway, so in this case, you see, some people, they see a cushion like this and they think, oh, great, look at that, that cushion, it's just ready to go. It's alive, it's energized, it's great. Look at that. Oh, boy, and then other people go, whoa, that cushion, it's so up, I mean, woo, that's kind of intimidating and scary, you know. And then other people, you know, so then this cushion is the same way. Some people see this and they're like, oh, hum, boy, what a drag, I'm going to have to go and sit now, boy. And they just, the cushion just reminds them of how painful and joyless it is to do meditation, you know. And then other people, they see a cushion like this and they think, oh, how laid back,

[06:23]

how relaxed, great, I mean, I can sit here, I'm welcome, that's like me, hey, cool. So there you have it, well, not quite. Because you see, anyway, so traditionally, you know, we, I was just going to remind you all, because I noticed that some of the cushions around here were a little slouched and were not their full upright Zen, you know, demeanor. So, you know, after zazen, traditionally, we take the cushion and then, you know, you massage the cushion, you give the cushion a little massage, I mean, you might think you need the massage, but in Zen we say, when you massage the cushion, you massage yourself. So, you, if you massage the cushion like this, then, and you know, when you respect the cushion, you respect yourself. When you honor the cushion, you honor yourself. So there you are, you see, how wonderful that Zafu is now, it's, there it is, in all of

[07:27]

its preciousness, you see, and so anyway, that's part of our tradition, you see, that it isn't in Vipassana. So, I kind of like it, you know, I like Vipassana, I've done a lot of Vipassana, excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and massage this, you know, people in Vipassana, they like massage too, but I think there's probably a lot of body workers who do Vipassana, probably more than Zen people, anyway, there you go. All right, there we go. Some of the cushions now are so hard, you can't massage them, it's amazing, you know. There you go. So, anyway, the Zen tradition, there's this sense of, you know, it's the same with cleaning,

[08:42]

the idea is not really to clean so much as it's relationship, it's to have a relationship with something. This is another way to spend time with your Zafu. You do something, you know, and so to clean the floor is to spend time with the floor and it's to respect the floor, honor the floor, and how you do that is, you know, spend some quality time with the floor, which we otherwise call cleaning, but, you know, do you think clean is more spiritual than dirty? You see, that would be, where would you get that idea? Why would you think clean is more holy than dirt? Well, I have various things to talk about tonight, actually not so much. I wanted to mention one other matter before I tell you a story. I've been, I wanted to encourage, I wanted to talk about, oh, it's actually another one

[09:44]

of the differences between Zen and Vipassana, that our Zen tradition in particular emphasizes form, the practice of forms, Vipassana has its practices, Gil Fronsdale at one point told me, you know, everybody likes to rake. When he was in Japan, they said, when you rake, just rake. And when he was in Southeast Asia, they said, when you rake, watch your mind. So there again is a difference, like which school do you like? I like the energy school, you know, when you rake, just rake. So he said, in Japan, they can stir up a lot of dust, you know, because they're just raking. And in Southeast Asia, sometimes they're just standing there. So it's kind of a, actually, it's actually a religious question, because it's where do you think your mind is? You know, do you still think your mind is just in your head, or does your mind include

[10:49]

the rake in the ground anyway? But in thinking about what is our school, I never did get around to talking with Rinpoche, because all I could say really was, I'm sorry, but I'm kind of a Zen idiot, okay? I know I've spent a lot of years hanging around the Zen Center and doing a lot of meditation and work and different things, but I'm actually kind of a Zen idiot. And if you want to know what is, you know, our school, I'm sorry, but, you know, I can't really tell you. But later on, I thought, well, yeah, well, we like forms. So I could have done something very Zen, you know. Thank you for being here. But anyway, so I wanted to talk a little bit about this form, because it's an easy one. And I know I spend a lot of time doing this, and it actually takes, you know, some intention

[11:52]

and awareness and consciousness and presence, and then, you know, your hands are here. And it's one hand the width from your face, and your fingers are at the top of your nose. And the main thing that happens when you do this is, now you're, well, there's actually several things, but one is your elbows are away from your sides. And to keep your elbows here is a way to protect your flanks, right? They might get you otherwise. So and then this is also like forthright. Are you sure you want to be that forthright? Or you know, this is like bigger, this is like smaller, maybe you could kind of, nobody will see that you're being spiritual. And then, interestingly enough, of course, if you do this, your chest starts to lift. So it's harder to go around going, you know, making your chest small.

[12:53]

This is something I want to talk more about tonight. How do you, you know, residing with your heart in your heart, it's actually the main subject of my talk. So we'll start with this. But so when you have your hands here, it's easier to take the top part here and just bend a little bit and, you know, kind of like shrink the area where your heart is. Make it a little smaller. And so this is, you know, if you start to, if you have your elbows up and your fingers are up here, rather than down here, then there are different traditions. This is another one to bring awareness to your heart directly, you know, put your hands, we do this in the yoga classes, put your hands right in front of your heart and then let your awareness focus and settle into your heart. But we've also been working a lot before we do that on, you know, lengthening the spine and opening the chest.

[13:56]

And so by the time we bring our hands here, we're not doing this, you know, collapsing the chest, we're opening the chest and we have our hands here. So then your awareness can come into your heart. So this in its own way is a way to help lift your chest, open your heart and be, you know, more receptive to your life, welcoming, anyway, and then bow. And coincidentally, as far as I can tell, you know, when you, the sides of the body are a good place to connect with other people. So actually when you, as you start to do this, you actually start to feel mysteriously enough connected to others in a different way. And, of course, we also do this to, you know, we bow at our seat, which is a greeting to

[14:58]

the people sitting next to us and across from us when we bow away from the seat. So people, as you know, who are sitting will return the greeting. But it's also about, you know, do your cushion, you know, and just to honor the place where you're sitting, where you're going to sit. And again, you know, the form, it's not so much, you know, partly it's, I think of it these days is mostly that, you know, this actually takes awareness. I can't, you know, you can't do it absentmindedly. You can't do it half-heartedly, because half-heartedly or absentmindedly your hands are someplace else. So, your intention and your presence, your commitment, you know, everything, you have to, you'll have to be here, you'll have to show up to have your hands there. So that's pretty nice. And you have all these benefits, added benefits of your chest opening, your heart opening

[16:01]

and the sides of your body connecting with others. So, I'd like to recommend this as a practice, if I may. By the way, this is reminding me, you know, that it's, as usual, really nice for me to be here, because one of the things I do feel here, and I was reminded of it talking with Galen this morning about the firefighters being here, last September, and how touched the inmates were, who were here on the fire crews, at how well we treated them, because we treat everybody the same. Hello, would you like some more coffee, and can I serve you some tea, and, you know. And so, they're not used to that. They're used to people saying, you know, whatever they say. So it's really nice to be in a place like Tassajara, where so many of you are, you know,

[17:06]

practicing in this way, welcoming others into your lives. So, I want to tell a story that David Chadwick has in his book about Suzuki Rishi, and talk about it a bit. I met David here in 1967. David was the head of the dining room, I was the head of the kitchen, so we got to know each other fairly well. And David was very talkative, extroverted, I was very untalkative, introverted. It's kind of unbelievable right now that that was 33 years ago.

[18:06]

It seems like a couple of minutes have gone by. Suzuki Rishi said when he was 65 on his 65th birthday, I don't think I was sincere enough. Anyway, one of the characteristics of Suzuki Rishi that many people have commented on is that, you know, when we met him, many people have said, well, it felt like he could see right through me, or he could see completely into my heart. The story that David tells in his book is like this story, is like this kind of feeling.

[19:12]

One of the things that David used to do, you know, when we had guests, we were very understaffed for many years, so David used to go out in the afternoon and start talking to guests at the baths or the coffee and tea area or somewhere around Tassajara, he'd start talking with guests. And then when it came time to set up the dining room, he'd say, you know, I have to go set up the dining room, why don't you come with me and we can go on talking. So he would kind of tend to recruit a new crew each day of assistants. Of course, then later on during dinner, he'd often sit down and have a glass of wine with them. And then after dinner, he'd go off to their rooms and drink more with them. So he didn't always get to Zazen in the morning. Things aren't like that, of course, here anymore at Tassajara. It's possible that neither David or I would be able to last here if we started out today.

[20:23]

So, and in those days when Suzuki Roshi was here, we would have a meeting after breakfast in his cabin and we would have tea and many of you are familiar, but, you know, we'd pass out the cups of tea and everybody gets their tea and sometimes a little cookie or something. And then when everybody has their tea, we bow and then we take a sip of tea and then the abbot will talk first. So this particular morning, David had missed the wake-up bell, missed Zazen, missed service, missed breakfast, but he got on his robes and went to the meeting in Suzuki Roshi's cabin. Convinced, he says, you know, that you could smell the alcohol still. And he was kind of hungover. So after Suzuki Roshi had spoken, one of the other officers of the monastery said, Suzuki Roshi, what do we do about somebody who's always breaking the rules? Hmm. What kind of person is it?

[21:34]

And Suzuki Roshi paused and said, hmm. And then he said, everyone is doing their best. This is a very difficult practice. Well, the officer said, but flagrantly, flagrantly breaking the rules so that everybody can see it. And Suzuki said, well, it's better that we can see it than that he hides it from us. But Suzuki Roshi, he's breaking the rules. Shouldn't he follow the rules? Shouldn't everybody follow the rules? And Suzuki said, well, sometimes you can break the rules and still follow the spirit of the rules. So then the officer said, well, wouldn't it be best if you followed the rules and the spirit of the rules?

[22:41]

And Suzuki Roshi said, well, of course, that would be best. Somebody asked me, I was thinking of this story because somebody asked me the other day, what about Suzuki Roshi? So, you know, this is what comes to mind for me, that he knew people's heart. You know, in this way, you know, and so many people could practice Buddhism, Zen, you know, with him and not feel marginalized or left out or not good enough. In some ways, you can see then in this sense, you know, Trungpa Rinpoche was even more like this.

[23:53]

Many, many, you know, people with, you know, all kinds of issues and problems and acting out behaviors could practice meditation with Trungpa Rinpoche. Who wouldn't have been welcome here at Tassajara or wouldn't have felt, you know, welcome here. And some people, of course, feel very comfortable following rather carefully delineated, you know, rules, like in the monastic tradition. And I've been thinking lately, you know, I try to teach people, my intention is to teach people to follow their heart, to know their heart, to know your heart, trust your heart, act from your heart.

[25:10]

Zen teacher Nyogen Senzaki, you know, his last words, he said, don't put another head over your head. Keep your feet warm and your head cool. I don't think he was talking about hats or socks. Keep your feet warm and your head cool, you know, put some awareness in your feet. But no matter how much, you know, I tell people to trust their own experience, if I tell people in a cooking class, taste what you put in your mouth, they say, well, what should I taste? Because we have a strong inclination to want to have the right experience to get the experience we should have, we think we should have. The experience we have in our mind that would be the one, the right one to have. And as long as we have this right experience to have in our mind, we think that all the other experiences we have are wrong.

[26:17]

We didn't get it right yet. And it's kind of a sadness, you know. And then when we feel this way, of course, then something happens in our heart. We actually have moved our heart out of our heart. The energetic of our heart, the consciousness of our heart, we move it away from our physical heart and we hold our heart apart from our heart. If you just, you know, watch what happens when you sit down in meditation, or any moment, actually, is it good enough? Is it acceptable? You know, should it be other or better than it is in some way? There are some people who say, well, I don't know. There are so many different kinds of moments and it's very easy to judge which ones are good enough, which ones aren't.

[27:20]

And we have the idea that if we judge and find some fault, you know, if you find some fault with somebody else, they're going to try harder to get it right next time in order to please you so you won't find fault with them. We have that kind of idea. And then we have that kind of idea with the universe. If I get mad at you, if I resent you for, you know, the universe for having a rock in the way when I trip on it, or whatever it is, you know, if I hold my heart, you know, away from my heart and I hold my heart against the universe and I blame the universe and I find fault, you know, then it's going to do it, it's going to try harder to please me. And so we think in the long run we're going to be happy because we separate our heart from our heart. So I feel comfortable, you know, I feel all right talking about this with you.

[28:30]

I wasn't feeling so great about talking about this with the Tibetan Rinpoche. Is this Buddhism? Is it Zen? Fortunately, of course, the Dalai Lama showed up and he said Buddhism is teaching human values. So that kind of makes it a little simpler. So you can check for yourself, you know, is your heart in your heart? You know, even though every moment is not the moment you'd like it to be, do you let your heart be with it or do you hold your heart apart? Not good enough yet. You need to improve. It should be cooler, it should be sunnier.

[29:33]

What's wrong with you today? Shape up. So we talk to ourself, to other people, to the world. Maybe your Zafu even is not behaving today. So, you know, we actually just do little things in Zen, you know, we bow to our cushion, you know, we bow to each other. It's a way just to let your heart into your heart and let your heart meet something and respond to something, be with something. And you can have a warm heart, you know, for yourself because you have a warm heart for your Zafu. Because you, you know, massage your Zafu, because you bow to your cushion, because you bow to one another, you have, you know, it warms our heart. And it's easier for your, you know, partly we practice posture because as you take various postures, the consciousness, the energetic of, you know, the different parts of your body can be in those parts of your body.

[30:52]

I practiced Zen for, you know, now 35 years. And I recently, you know, three or four years ago I was at a workshop and we practiced spatial displacement on purpose. It's a lot of fun. You take all the awareness of your left arm, you've got your left arm here, it's just down by your side. And you take the awareness of your left arm and just take it and put it somewhere besides your left arm. And then the awareness in your right arm, put it somewhere else. And then, you know, the consciousness of your leg, put it somewhere else and each leg in your torso. And I thought, I'm home, this is the way I feel all the time. And that was after years of Zen practice. This is amazing, you know, our life and how, you know, deep the habits of our patterning goes.

[31:58]

But I actually think, you know, in spite of my story here, I think Zen practice actually works. It works to put your awareness, you know, in its place. You know, to have the consciousness of your arm in your arm. Consciousness of your heart in your heart. And not to separate from yourself or abandon yourself in that way. And to not abandon yourself is to not abandon all sentient beings. You know, to not abandon sofas and floors and dishes and, you know, cantaloupes. And it's to not take things for granted. That your presence here is, you know, the presence of everything. Your heart at home in your body is, you know, everything at home. Thank you.

[33:33]

So, I think that's about it. Maybe I'd like to say, I guess, just a few more words if it's not too late yet. Oh, it's too late. Okay, I'm going to stop. So, another time. I've said enough. I said what I really wanted to say. So, the rest is just, you know, you've had enough cake. You've had enough frosting. Thank you very much for sitting here with me this evening.

[34:25]

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