Good morning. From my point of view, I thought it was rather auspicious that I woke up this morning and it was snowing out. Because I felt kind of welcomed to Minnesota. And especially on the day that I was going to give a talk, I thought, how auspicious. Anyway, I'm happy to be here with you, and to share this practice with you, and to share this occasion with each of you.

[01:18]

We have this rather wonderful occasion, when we can come together. And it's very powerful and healing for us to come together, and sit quietly together, and breathe together. And to, at least to some extent, let go our set-aside everyday concerns, and plans, and worries. And to sit quietly, and to enjoy your breath, and the physical sensations of your body. And the silence, when we all sit together, is quite deep, very still.

[02:34]

Different than if you sit quietly by yourself. I'm not going to tell you anything you haven't heard before. So, in that sense, you can relax, and not worry about missing something. Because you already have heard it all, already, and you already know the truth in your own heart. And that's the place to find it anyway, and not in something I say. So, settle into your own heart, and don't try to wait for just the right words.

[03:43]

This is a funny practice, you know, I started sitting Zen meditation in 1965. I went to the Zen center in San Francisco, and after Zazen, Suzuki Roshi asked Katagiri Sensei to give me Zazen instruction. Which he did. I and a friend of mine, it was pretty short. He told us to, we sat down, he showed us bowing to the cushion, away from the cushion. Sit down, cross your legs, sit up straight, hold your hands like this. Look down there, follow your breath. You might think a few things anyway. Come back to your posture and your breath. That was about it.

[04:54]

So, in all those years since then, you know, I haven't particularly gotten anything from this practice. You should understand that. Maybe it's not necessary to, but... I feel like this Japanese person I read about who went, studied in Japan, and then Ceylon, and India. And he spent years, and always had said, and then, and he was in Ceylon for six years, and he got nothing. With one teacher in Japan for ten years, and he got nothing. So, I seem to be in the same boat. Sitting all these years, and getting nothing. And if I was you, I wouldn't expect much from this practice. Otherwise you'll probably be a bit disappointed.

[06:05]

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it's pretty good not to expect much from life. I mean, I don't know that the opportunities are any better anywhere else than they are here, as far as getting something. It sort of seems easier out there in the world that you could get something. But it doesn't actually work out that way. I don't think. So... As far as getting something, that doesn't seem to be the point of this practice, does it? So, in thinking about this, I was reminded of a story about a layperson who went to see the Buddha. And he said, after he made an offering and bowed three times, the Buddha said,

[07:09]

What can I do for you? And he said, I'm a layperson, and I try to practice when I can, but it's not very often. And, you know, I work very hard. I do farming, and sometimes the crops don't come in. It's pretty difficult. And I have a very nice wife. She's very good to me, but often I get kind of impatient with her. And I find that I yell at her. I feel badly about it, but I can't seem to help myself. And my kids are really pretty nice, but, you know, with all the pressure I feel trying to farm and support my family, I often get impatient with them too, and I find that I yell at them, and sometimes I even hit them. It's pretty distressing. I really don't know what to do. What should I do?

[08:10]

And the Buddha said, You know, every person has 83 problems. And when you get rid of one, you'll get another. You'll always have 83. And the layperson said, Well, isn't there some practice I can do that will help me? And the Buddha said, No, all the spiritual practice you do, it won't help you with the 83 problems. And he said, But what's the point of spiritual practice then? And the Buddha said, Well, it might help you with the 84th problem. And the layperson said, What is the 84th problem?

[09:14]

And the Buddha said, The 84th problem is you don't want to have any problems. So this seems to be a good, you know, attitude to take. The first time I saw Suzuki Roshi, he said, How is your meditation? And I said, Well, I can't follow my breath very well. I start thinking a lot of things. And he said, Do you have some problem with that? I don't know. I guess not. And then I said, Well, yeah, I mean, you're supposed to just follow your breath. You're not supposed to be thinking and doing all these other things. He said, Well, you know, like they say, Keep sitting. Sometimes you'll think it's pretty human to think.

[10:31]

Something that we do. Don't have a problem with it. But it's interesting, you know, how much Buddhism teaches us that, you know, our life, much of our life is mind created. And what we'd like to think about is something our mind creates. There's a story about a man who was out walking one day, and unbeknownst to him, he sat down under a wish-fulfilling tree. And it had been very hot. And under this tree, it was quite shady.

[11:33]

And he felt so soothed and refreshed sitting in the shade of this tree. And he thought, How wonderful this is. If I just had someone here to share it with me, it would be perfect. And then a wonderful woman appeared beside him. And that was very nice. Then he thought, This is very nice. If we just had some good food now, it would be even better. And this food appeared. All sorts of delicious dishes, fried foods, steamed vegetables, desserts, all kinds of things. And he thought, Well, we really should have someone to serve us. And a butler appeared. And set up tables and offered them each dish.

[12:40]

Put it on their plates, and they ate. This is quite nice. In fact, this is too good to be true. There must be a demon living in this tree. Sure enough, a demon appeared from out of the tree. And he thought, Uh-oh. He's going to eat me. And he did. So the problem isn't exactly thinking, per se. It's taking the thinking as being real. Actually believing what you think and getting involved in the story.

[13:43]

In thinking, you could really have a happy ending. If you just didn't have spiritual practice. Or what is your fault? Why don't you have a happy ending? What have you done wrong? Do you think you've done something wrong if you don't have a happy ending? I don't think so. And yet it seems to make a difference how we live, huh? But like this Thoreau once said, Most people spend their whole lives fishing, without realizing it's not fish they're looking for. And most of us spend our lives looking for a happy ending, without realizing it's not really a happy ending we want.

[14:46]

And similarly there's a line in a Rumi poem, he says, Don't insist on going where you think you want to go. Ask the way of the spring. So it seems like what we really want is to find the way of the spring. And to have some refreshment in the present, without waiting for a happy ending. And we'd like to be able to have problems and not stop wishing that we didn't have any problems. And be willing to have the problems that we have. And to be willing to be who we are. And be willing to be alive on each occasion, under each circumstance. And this is called liberation. Without a happy ending, being free from the thought of happy endings.

[15:58]

One time in Sishin, Suzuki Roshi said, You know how I send teachers to occasionally, Don't move, just die. This is your last moment, so, not even enlightenment will help you now. You have no other moments, so there's nothing to look forward to. Be true to yourself. Be true to who you are. So we need to work on developing this kind of confidence. And it's interesting how hard that is.

[17:02]

Confidence in our own body and mind. You know, so we don't, we don't become colonized. Whether it's by media, television, movies, culture. And we don't become colonized by our own thinking and feelings. Taken over. Made to do what the head of the empire wants. So we should own our own body and mind. Not even if it means having problems. It's very funny the way this comes up.

[18:25]

When we wrote the Greens Cookbook, we put in a lot of instructions. Cook the onions until they're translucent. And every time it said something like that, our editor wrote, how long? About every other page it says, how long? Or it says, season to taste with vinegar. Or season to taste with chili. How much? And we kept wanting to say, you know, if you don't know, who does? Do you suppose there's some arbitrage out there somewhere? Who's going to come by and judge your food and see if it's the way it should be? Did you follow the recipe exactly? Or did you change something?

[19:29]

You know, if you follow the recipe and it doesn't come out, you can always say, but I followed the recipe. I did what I was told. It's not my fault. I just followed the directions. But if you do to taste, then you have to say, what can I tell you? My taste is different than yours, I guess. The more you cook, then the more you start to take other people's taste into account. So you actually, when it says season to taste, it doesn't exactly mean just your taste. But you have to start with your taste and then sort of thinking and understanding how other people's taste is different than yours. You know, take that into account. But still, no book is going to tell you the right way, how the dish should be, whether you got it right or not, whether it's as good as it could have been.

[20:36]

So in about the pasta section, which is about a third or halfway through the book, it said, cook the vegetables until they're as tender as you like. And still it said, how much? How long? And it said, how do we know? So, do you know what you like? I mean, if you don't, who is, who does? Who can tell you? And this is the way we live our life. You know, it doesn't always work. And yet we, we try to,

[21:41]

we make some effort to follow our heart, our heart of hearts. And we, I'll give you a poem. Oh, this is a Roka sonnet. It's one of the sonnets to Orpheus. It's one of the sonnets to Orpheus. Be ahead of all parting. Be ahead of all parting as though it already were behind you. Like the winter that has just passed by. For among these winters there is one so endless the winter

[22:43]

that only by wintering through it will your heart survive. Let Eurydice be dead. More glad arise into this seamless life proclaimed in your song. Here among momentary days in the realm of decline, be the crystal cup that shattered even as it rang. Be and yet know the great void in which all things arise. Be in the inmost source of our infinite vibration so that this once you may give it your perfect ascent. To all that is used up all the muffled and dumb creatures of this world will reserve

[23:43]

the unsayable sums. Joyfully add yourself and cancel the count. Do you want to hear it again? It's once enough? Sometimes after talks I usually only do them once and after talks sometimes people say you have to do them twice we didn't get it the first time. So I'll give it to you again. You want it the same this time or different? Be ahead of all parting as though it already were behind you like the winter that has just passed by for among these winters there is one so endlessly winter that only by wintering through it will your heart survive.

[24:44]

Yet let Eurydice be dead more glad arise into the seamless life proclaimed in your song. Here among momentary days in the realm of decline be the crystal cup that shattered be and yet know the great void in which all things arise. Be inmost source of our infinite vibration so that this once you may give it your perfect ascent to all that is used up to all the muffled and dumb creatures of this world's full reserve the unsayable sums joyfully add yourself and cancel the count. Recently I heard

[25:57]

I was reading about the placebo effect and one of the examples of the placebo effect was people who were given placebo radiation treatments 30% of them lost their hair. Do you think they believe the story? This is how easy it is to believe the story and to believe you know the reality of our and to believe our own mind that tells us things and to be colonized by what we take to be reality and how easy it is for us to lose our freedom our liberation how easy it is not to own our own body and mind. There's also you know the Buddha placebo effect

[27:00]

all the time Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are radiating you with healing energy and wisdom and compassion. Do you believe that? It's interesting what you know we believe and don't believe which kind of radiation is more real do you suppose? Where do you think the spring is?

[28:21]

Anyway ask the weight of the spring And don't believe all the stories you hear, even if you tell them to yourself. There's a Zen saying that if you take a rock and polish it, you won't notice much effect. But over time, it will become smooth and polished. If you plant a tree and you watch it grow, you won't be able to see anything happening. But over time, it will become a full-sized tree and provide shade for people.

[29:33]

In the summer, at least. If you do good things in your life, you won't notice much effect. But in the end, you will have developed your character. If you do evil things, you won't notice much effect. But in the end, you come to ruin. Students who think carefully about this, and think this through, and understand it and practice it, will develop great capacity, wisdom, and compassion. It's always been like this, now and always.

[30:38]

The only way to do this is to not get too involved in trying to solve all the problems. If you do that, you endlessly chase around, solving problem after problem, without end. Trying to fix yourself, trying to fix others. Our fixing has to be a deeper kind of fixing, and we can't be in too much of a hurry to see some result or effect. You know, someone asked the Dalai Lama, I've been practicing for ten years, not much has happened. He said, if you want to see the effects, you have to practice twenty years. No, I think you'd have to practice many lifetimes. This is like the tree, or the rock.

[31:56]

You won't notice much effect. I have another short poem for you. This is called The Little Duck. It was in the New Yorker magazine in 1947 or 1948, and I found it in a letter that my mother wrote to her sister, April 1st, 1948. My mother died a week later, April 8th, 1948, of various cancers. So this is a poem that she liked and sent a copy to her sister. This is actually just part of the poem. Recently somebody who works in the library sent me the whole poem.

[33:00]

They looked it up in the New Yorker magazine. This is the way the poem goes. Now we're ready to look at something pretty special. It is a duck riding the ocean a hundred feet beyond the surf, and it cuddles in the swells. There is a great heaving in the Atlantic, and he is part of it. He can rest while the Atlantic heaves, because he rests in the Atlantic. Probably he doesn't know how large the ocean is, and neither do you, but he realizes it.

[34:09]

And what does he do, I ask you? He sits down in it. That's religion, and the little duck has it. I like the little duck. He doesn't know much, but he has religion. That's the poem. Do you want it again? Now we're ready to look at something pretty special. It is a duck riding the ocean a hundred feet beyond the surf, and he cuddles in the swells. There is a great heaving in the Atlantic, and he is part of it. He can rest while the Atlantic heaves, because he rests in the Atlantic.

[35:18]

Probably he doesn't know how large the ocean is, and neither do you, but he realizes it. And what does he do, I ask you? He sits down in it. That's religion, and the little duck has it. I like the little duck. He doesn't know much, but he has religion. And after that, in the letter it says, so let's settle down, and let the waves carry us and hold us up. Oh, you know what? I left out a line in that poem, both times.

[36:23]

You want the left out line, or do you want to just skip it? You don't need that left out line. And what does he do, I ask you? He sits down in it. He reposes in the immediate as though it were infinity, which it is. That's the line. That's religion, and the little duck has it. So I left out the line, he reposes in the immediate as though it were infinity, which it is. As another Zen saying, you know, that calamity and good fortune, you know, are not necessarily so different.

[37:31]

One of the things, and often good fortune will lead you to calamity and calamity leads you to good fortune, because in circumstances of calamity one becomes often quite concentrated and careful and meticulous, searching carefully to find how to survive, what to do. In good fortune, we relax, goof up, and the next thing we know, boom, something hits us. So, good fortune or calamity, we should be careful not to take either one too seriously, reposing in the immediate as though it were infinity.

[38:34]

Otherwise, how will you ever have repose? So, I'd like to, I'd like for us to repose for just a couple minutes, and I'd like to, if you would, in your own way, I'd like to offer some good wishes, some loving-kindness, some compassion and wisdom that you find in your body, in your breath, in your repose, and offer it to one another, and to Kadagiri

[39:47]

Rishi, and to his health and well-being. So, just a couple of minutes, okay? Those are things you'd like to talk about, then we'll meet again, okay?

[40:03]

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