Having interceded and listened to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. I bow to you, [...] I bow to

[01:29]

you, I bow to you, I bow to you, I bow to you. housecleaning, and then when we sit sashin, it's a little more thorough than usual, and we have a chance to go through the attic, and the basement, and the yard, and we have a chance to find out what we've been saving up all this time, and what is hidden away there in the closets, by gathering dust, and influencing us, even though we don't realize

[02:54]

it. We have this kind of chance, even though it may be that we'd like to just clear out the laundry room, and sit there pleasantly contemplating, somehow we end up in the other rooms where we've stored everything, stashed everything away, we somehow find ourselves in the closet, after all, or up in the attic, or down in the basement, and the air isn't very fresh, and it's kind of dusty, and dry, and there's bugs, and various things, and so we have this

[03:56]

chance to look at things, and decide more carefully, or consciously, what we'd like to keep, and what we're ready to let go of, and get rid of. And sometimes it's quite a struggle to decide what to keep, and what to let go, and we'd like to just get back to the pleasant room, with the fresh air, and all of our friends, and sit quietly, and not have to go through all this stuff. I'm still waiting for you, I'm still waiting for you, I'm still waiting for you, I'm still

[05:41]

waiting for you. And so we don't have this kind of opportunity very often, to sift, and sort, and strain through things, and through how our life works. This kind of opportunity where we don't have work to do, we don't have anything to accomplish, I mean it's not like we're trying to put in a garden, we're just sitting here, or do some project,

[06:53]

build a new building, we're just cleaning up. So we call this turning our effort from attainment, or achievement, or accomplishment, to non-attainment, which means finding out how we make effort, how to make effort in a way that makes our life work, what way makes our life work, and what way doesn't. And how to, we find out then how to purify our effort, we find out when it is we aren't generous,

[08:00]

or how it is we're not patient, or how it is we get angry, how it is we want to have things. So we find out about how our effort is colored by these various factors. And we can find out how to purify our effort. And so we, rather than thinking about what we, measuring what we've accomplished, or how we're doing, we look at just how to make our best effort, how to purify our effort,

[09:02]

how to let go of our greediness, or hatred, or anger, impatience, and make the kind of effort we'd really like to make. Now maybe we don't do that so often, but it's just that we're working on it, and we notice, and work on the kind of effort we're making. So this kind of effort we can bring to each activity, sitting or walking,

[10:46]

breathing, looking through the remnants of a lifetime, looking through the chests and closets and drawers that haven't been, some of which haven't been opened in years. And still we can bring this effort there. And we look into things. And we bring our best effort, we try to bring our best effort, our warmth and compassion and attention.

[11:46]

Oh, what have we here? What have we here is different than if mom and dad come into the room and say, kids, what are you up to now? What's going on here? What have you gotten into? Don't you know you're supposed to be following your breath calmly? Why are you in such a state? Just what have we here? What is this? Gosh, and they have to get a bigger dumpster after all.

[12:49]

So when we go through the house in this way, this is different than how we first collected things or acquired things. And we bring a certain light or compassion and warmth to things as they arise. And a certain kind of, in a way, objectivity or detachment. There's some mix, of course, of attachment and detachment, but more detachment certainly than when we first collected the contents of our household. And so we do have a good chance to let go of things.

[14:43]

And discard so much of what we've been carrying around. There's a story I wanted to talk about today. It's one of the cases in the book of record. It's a story about a young man who had a car accident. Sixteen bodhisattvas who went to bathe. Do you know this story? Yeah. Sixteen bodhisattvas, when it came time for the monks to bathe,

[15:57]

they filed into the hot tubs. And they attained enlightenment. It says something like, they awakened to the basis of water. And then it says that Chan-worthies of today should try to understand what they're saying. That subtle feeling reveals illumination, and we achieve the station of sons of Buddha. Subtle feeling reveals illumination, and we achieve the station of sons of Buddha. And then it says, if you want to,

[17:01]

it says something like, you must be extremely piercing and penetrating to realize this. Isn't that a nice story? Thirty-two, or three is it, monks, students at Tassajara, sat down to have their chocolate cake. And they immediately attained enlightenment. Awakened to the basis of chocolate. They awakened to the basis of chocolate. The commentary to this story says that people today,

[18:29]

There are some people today, and they wrote this thing a thousand years ago or something. People today also go in to bathe in this way, and they also wash and feel, feel it like this, but they don't, they don't, why don't they awaken? Why don't they awaken, or why don't we awaken? They are all, they are all confused and obstructed by objects, by the objects of the senses.

[19:30]

They stick to their skin and cling to their bones. Now this is why they don't wake up immediately then and there. Why don't they wake up? Now people also have feelings, but do they know its subtlety?

[20:44]

A subtle feeling is different than ordinary feeling, and feeler, where contact is considered feeling and separation is not. Now if you, if you want to awaken, you must be extremely piercing and penetrating. Now if you just, if you just stick to your body, now what good will that do?

[21:51]

Now what use will that be? Now you must be, if you are extremely piercing and penetrating, there will be no need to go in and wash. You will not need to go in and wash. Now you will manifest the jewel king's, the jewel king's realm in the tip of a hair, and you will turn the great wheel of dharma in every speck of dust. I just don't hold on to any nook or den.

[23:02]

Each and every place is the gateway for Avalokiteshvara to enter the truth. Now people these days also go in and bathe, they also wash and feel it this way. Why then don't we awaken? Now they stick, it's because they are confused and obstructed by the objects of the senses. Now this is why they don't wake up immediately then and there.

[24:20]

So what is it about these objects that's confusing and obstructing? What is it about experience that's confusing and obstructing? What is it about anger or boredom or fatigue? What is it about our breathing, our singing, our hearing? The usual, the kind of thing we get caught in,

[25:37]

is trying to manipulate and control this experience. Trying to produce and stop this gandhas, form of feeling, perceptions, impulses and consciousness. And we call some of those gandhas, when they arise, we call some good and some we call bad. And we try to produce good and get rid of bad according to our own definition. And some gandhas, some form or feeling, perception, we say, oh I'm happy with this.

[26:45]

And others we say, I'm unhappy with this. And what about that? Is it, does happiness, does the happiness reside in the object? Or the unhappiness in the object? In the form or in the feelings, in the perceptions? Is that where happiness or unhappiness resides? I'm happy with the way I feel. I'm unhappy with the way I feel. Where is that, how does that happiness arise? So one of the ways we are confused and obstructed is we think that happiness or unhappiness resides in objects. Objects in this broadest sense, form, feeling, perceptions, impulses, consciousness, my mind.

[27:56]

Am I happy with my mind? Am I unhappy with it? Am I pleased? Am I disturbed? Am I satisfied? Angry? So we think, so this confusion is identifying the, identifying that happiness, unhappiness, anger, satisfaction, identifying it with the objects. And thinking we have to control and manipulate those objects in order to produce happiness. And we also think that in order to have, that awakening has something to do with producing or controlling objects.

[29:02]

Or that it would be, awakening would be an object beyond, in some way, a completely different category of object that we could experience. So we go through our feeling, perception, impulses, form. We go through our experience and then we look sometimes and say, you know, could this possibly be enlightenment? Not a chance. It's not far enough out. It's not transcendent enough. I'm sure you can think of ways in which we get confused by objects anyway. This is what I think of is basically how we get confused and obstructed by objects in the senses. People these days also go in and they wash and feel water in this way.

[30:34]

I think in this, I'm not sure that what the, in this story, what feeling is the translation of. Because I think it's broader than the feeling of this gandhas, the feeling of vedana, form, feeling, perceptions. I think this feeling is more referring to experience. So people have feeling, everyone has feeling, but do they know it suddenly? Let's see. Now tell me, if there's no attainment, when there's no attainment in washing or bathing or water, or when there's no attainment, is this subtle feeling reveals illumination or not?

[31:58]

Here, if you can see directly, this is subtle feeling reveals illumination. And we achieve the station of sons of Buddha. Does it make sense? Even though there is nothing attained, can it be called subtle feeling reveals illumination or not? So when you see directly, then it is subtle feeling reveals illumination. So what is this seeing directly? I think in a very simple way it means not looking for something in particular over and over again.

[33:06]

And rejecting your present experience. It's not good enough. It doesn't measure up. I want something better. I like some enlightenment. I want some awakening. This couldn't be awakening. This is lousy. Oh how measurable all this stuff is. All of that is not seeing directly. It's looking for something in particular. So even when there's no attainment in feeling, in washing or bathing or water, it's still, we call it subtle feeling reveals illumination. When you see directly, this is how it is. In every speck of dust, we turn great wheels of dharma.

[34:15]

And again, subtle feeling is not the same as ordinary feeling and feeler. The contact between them is called feeling and the separation is not. So this subtle feeling is moment after moment. There's no getting away from it. So what about experiencing in that way? It says you must be extremely piercing and penetrating. When it says something like this, I always think, boy you can sure tell that a man wrote this. Piercing and penetrating. If it was a woman, more for women, it would probably say, you must be all pervading, all embracing.

[35:21]

You must be thorough going. Thorough going. You must be straightforward in each activity. And not sticking just to the surface. Not already knowing what a moment of experience is. If something is miserable, what is it that's miserable? And what is miserable?

[36:27]

Is it a label? Is it just a label and there's not something there? Is there something there actually that we can call miserable? Is there something else there that goes beyond miserable, that isn't just miserable? How is it that we come to these conclusions? How is it that we describe, conceptualize our experience? So you must be piercing, penetrating. You must be all pervading. You must be all embracing.

[37:35]

You must investigate from the front through to the back. From the front through to the back. From the top down to the bottom. Thorough going. Why just stick to the body? To experience as you've always understood it. And if you're thorough going and straightforward, then there's no need to go in and watch. Just this kind of practice is enough. Don't stick to any nook or den.

[38:51]

You may be able to make it pretty nice there. But you won't wake up in your nook or in your den. Each and every place is a gateway where Avalokiteshvara enters the truth. It doesn't matter what you call it. How good or bad, happy, unhappy, miserable, satisfied, angry, annoying, discouraging. It doesn't matter what you call it. It's still a gateway to the truth. If you've entered with compassionate mind, with warmth and compassion, this is what it is.

[40:11]

It's just like this. How is this? What is this like for you? What is this like for me? What is this like for you? So in this way it's not so much a taking hold of things, sifting, sorting through things and waiting, looking for something that you like to attain and trying to grasp it. This is more like, what about the reality? What about the reality that doesn't fit in any definition?

[41:15]

Or what about the reality that you let it come home to your heart? You just let it come home to your heart. And you find that whatever you called it, it's more than that. So Dogen says, when you go out in a boat and the ocean looks square or circular, it's not square or circular. It's not just square and circular. There's infinite characteristics and hidden merit and virtue in water that at the moment you can't see.

[42:22]

So we should investigate that in this way. So we infiltrate every being and place in a true merit of love's way.

[43:06]

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